Living life in the carpool lane..

Posts Tagged ‘mommy

My kids have a gift.  My kids have a talent.

My kids have the ability to make me look like I have no control over them whatsoever whenever we are in public.

No, really.

They make me look like I’m a completely ‘hot mess mama’ that can’t handle her own kids.

I don’t know how they do it.

And I swear that when I’m home, I have things seemingly under control.  At least, I think I do.

Maybe it’s because I don’t have to interact with other people, that I feel like my kids behave better when we are at home?

Maybe it’s because there are more things to see, hear and experience out than at home?

Maybe it’s because I’m just fooling myself into thinking I have things under control when I’m home?  That’s probably it.

K is at the age where she needs to experience everything.  I’m serious when I say EVERYTHING.  Today, at Costco, she felt the need to feel every package of bread that was within her reach.  EVERY. SINGLE. PACKAGE.

And I get it.  She’s at a very exploratory age.  She uses all her senses to get a feel for the world surrounding her.  But, when she refuses to sit in the shopping cart, so I compromise and allow her to walk while holding my hand, AND we have to keep up with Hubby and M ahead of us?

Hot mess.

What about when M is in dance class and I can barely stop K from wanting to get on that dance floor and join the class.  Thank goodness for the large waiting area in the back of the class, but it’s a real struggle to keep her on the carpeted area instead of the dance floor.  And when she refuses to cooperate, she screams.  Loud.  So loud the whole class can hear.  And I cringe.  It feels like I have no control over that kid.

Hot mess.

Or the time when we were at the music store and I was purchasing a piano book for M.  I’m at the register holding K trying to pay for the book when she decides she just wants to go down.  She begins to squirm and wiggle.  When that doesn’t work, she screams.  Loud.  Loudly, in my ears.  On top of that, M decides she wants to try out the bongo drums.  With nodes (click here), I’m not allowed to talk over loud noises.  So, I’m wrestling with K, trying to keep her in my arms.  I’m begging M to please stop playing the drums.  I’m wrestling with K again to stop trying to remove all the contents out of my wallet.  I’m begging M AGAIN to quit playing the drums.  I’m trying so hard to stay calm for the sake of my vocal chords and because I’m sure the store would not appreciate a mom having a meltdown.

I wanted to drop everything I was doing, sit on the floor and just cry.  Seriously.  I was THAT overwhelmed.  I wanted to give up and just wait for Hubby to come and rescue me.

I felt like I lost all control.

We’ve all been there, right?

But it is what it is.  I held K a little tighter.  Gave her a bunch of kisses and talked her through all the frustration (which was probably more for me than anything else).  M eventually listened and stopped banging the drum.  I purchased the book.  We went home.

The whole scenario probably lasted five minutes, but it felt like an eternity.

And in the grand scheme of things, this is only the tip of the iceberg when it comes to parenting trials.  This is all probably the easy stuff.

But c’mon!  Can’t they make me look like I have everything under control sometimes?  I mean, can’t they help me look like less flustered?  Just do mommy a favor and stop making me look like a hot mess all the time.

I know I’m not the only one that feels this!  Share your story in the comments below!

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Today, I’m blogging from a Starbucks.  I have my iPad and I’m using the WordPress app. 

Ideally, I should have brought my laptop, but it’s just too much to carry.  Also, from the looks of the crowd in this Starbucks, all the tables with outlets have all been taken… 

I’m rambling.

I’m actually at a loss and totally beside myself.  Hubby has the baby and M is in her Gymboree drop-off class right now.  

For the first time in forever, (wink, wink, Frozen fans…),  I’m without kids and not because I have an errand to run.  I’m actually without kids AND I have nothing to do…

It’s a strange feeling….

I think I have forgotten how to relax.  I think I have forgotten how to think about things outside the realm of parenthood and motherhood.  My mind is constantly on my girls, especially now that I’m not with them.

Doesn’t help that Hubby just sent me a super sweet text of little K flashing her sweet gummy smiles…

My eye is also on the clock too.  I don’t want to be late to pick up M, but I don’t want to be too early and waste valuable “relaxing ” time…

I can’t be the only that feels this way during these rare “mommy breaks,” am I?

Hubby asked me, despite everything that has been going on, if I still love being pregnant.  Here’s my answer:

I love being pregnant.  I love feeling the baby move around.  I love knowing that I’m not alone at the moment, that there is always someone with me, even when I’m up at night while all of you are asleep.  I love trying to figure out what body part is poking out of my tummy.  I love trying to figure out what kind of personality this little person in me is going to have based on her movements and how she interacts when I rub my belly.  I love imagining what she’s going to look like when she comes out. 

I don’t like the constant aches and pains.  I really don’t like the first trimester of constant nausea.  I really don’t like the third trimester of constant discomfort.  I don’t like that I waddle.  I don’t like that I gain too much weight during each pregnancy.  I don’t like that this pregnancy had way too many complications.  I don’t like being confined to a wheelchair when we go places.  I don’t like that I’m not allowed to do too much stuff.  I don’t like the sore abdomen muscles.  I don’t like the sore groin muscles.  I don’t like it has to hurt to give birth.  I don’t like the healing process after giving birth.  I don’t like, even though labor is practically a routine thing, that there is always a chance of complication.  I don’t like that I get so irritated so quickly when my hormones go all haywire. 

Hubby says that it seems that the dislikes outnumber the likes.

While it may seem so, the truth of the matter is, I really do love being pregnant and all those dislikes are nothing comparent to the feeling of holding my sweet newborn when all is said and done.


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To continue in the ‘mother’s day’ spirit,  I want to share with you something I wrote about becoming a mother on my Instagram on Sunday.

In January 2011, my dreams came true when I got a positive result on a pregnancy test.  Being a mother was something I had always wanted for as long as I could remember.  Nine months later, this precious girl came into my life and my world has never been the same.  She’s exhausting, challenging, and has taught me more about patience than I ever expected.  She’s also entertaining, charming and probably the sweetest, most loving person I know.  She is unconditional love.  I cherish every second that I am your mother.  You, my dear made all my dreams come true.  I love you lots!

Motherhood is something I try not to take for granted, ever.  I love being a mother.  I love being HER mother. 

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Yesterday was Mother’s Day and it was great, like always.

My parents came over for the weekend and my younger brother surprised my mother by showing up for the weekend also.

It was a very laid back holiday.  We ate out, then hung out at home.

When my family left, we ended the day having dinner with Hubby’s family.

It was a day full of love and appreciation.

Did I get anything for Mother’s Day?  No.  I never do. 

Is that a problem?  No.  It never is.

Why?  Because gifts don’t really matter to me. 

All I needed was to hear M tell me, “Happy Mother’s Day.  I love you, Mimi.”  Ok, so I had to tell her to tell me all of that, but hearing it all in her little voice made me melt regardless.

One of these years, she’s going to tell me all of that on her own accord, and it will be just as special.

Motherhood is the best.

Happy mother’s day to all the mommies of the world!

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At dinner..

M:  Mimi!
Me:  Yes, baby?
M:  Up?
Me:  Not yet, you have to finish your food.


M:  Mimi!
Me:  Yes, baby?
M:  Up?
Me:  Not yet, you still have to finish your food..

Finished food, but I’m busy eating mine while she’s still in her highchair.

M: Mimi?  Mimi?
Me:  ….
M:  Mimi!
Me:  …
M:  MOMMY!!!!
Me:  Yes, sweetie?
M:  UP, UP!!

So I guess she can say “mommy.”  But I totally prefer the Mimi… hee hee..

Little M has finally learned who we are.. she knows Mommy, Daddy, and her grandparents..

Every once in a while, she does a roll call.. especially when we are video chatting with my parents on the iPad..

M:  Mimi!
Me:  I’m here, baby!
M: Dah-day!
Hubby:  Hi, M!
M: Ama!
My mom:  Hi, sweetie!
M:  Apa!
My dad:  Hi, baby!

Sometimes she does it in the middle of playing..

M: Mimi!
Me:  Yes, baby, I’m here!
M: Dah-day!
Hubby:  Hi, M!
M:  Ama!
Me:  Ama is at her house..
M: Apa!
Me:  Apa is at his house..

It’s so cute.. she’s always checking up on us!

I took a little vacation from work to be a SAHM (stay at home mommy).

My inlaws usually watch Little M and they went on vacation for two weeks.  So I took a week off last week, and my mother is watching her this week!

I have to say that the little taste of “stay at home momness” was amazing.  It was so hard, but so fun at the same time.

She’s definitely harder to raise 24/7 than she was when I was on maternity leave!

It’s just that she’s EVERYWHERE and into EVERYTHING!  I love it!

It was so fun and such a great extra bonding experience to have with her, and I pray ALL THE TIME that we will be blessed with an opportunity to allow me to do it full-time. 

I do have to admit that by the end of the week, I was definitely refreshed and ready to go to work.. but that totally ended when I went to work on Monday and wished I was on vacation again..


I’m Little M’s mommy.  To her that means, “My mimi.”

Now I don’t know if she realizes that she is staking claim on my mommyhood.  I don’t know if she knows that she is specifing that I am HER mommy and no one elses..

I don’t know if saying “my mimi” is purely coincidental..

I don’t care because it feels really good.  I think I’m going to stick with thinking that she is being very specific at pointing out that I am her mother. 

It kinda boosts my ego a little bit.


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July 2020