Living life in the carpool lane..

Posts Tagged ‘complicated pregnancy

Hubby asked me, despite everything that has been going on, if I still love being pregnant.  Here’s my answer:

I love being pregnant.  I love feeling the baby move around.  I love knowing that I’m not alone at the moment, that there is always someone with me, even when I’m up at night while all of you are asleep.  I love trying to figure out what body part is poking out of my tummy.  I love trying to figure out what kind of personality this little person in me is going to have based on her movements and how she interacts when I rub my belly.  I love imagining what she’s going to look like when she comes out. 

I don’t like the constant aches and pains.  I really don’t like the first trimester of constant nausea.  I really don’t like the third trimester of constant discomfort.  I don’t like that I waddle.  I don’t like that I gain too much weight during each pregnancy.  I don’t like that this pregnancy had way too many complications.  I don’t like being confined to a wheelchair when we go places.  I don’t like that I’m not allowed to do too much stuff.  I don’t like the sore abdomen muscles.  I don’t like the sore groin muscles.  I don’t like it has to hurt to give birth.  I don’t like the healing process after giving birth.  I don’t like, even though labor is practically a routine thing, that there is always a chance of complication.  I don’t like that I get so irritated so quickly when my hormones go all haywire. 

Hubby says that it seems that the dislikes outnumber the likes.

While it may seem so, the truth of the matter is, I really do love being pregnant and all those dislikes are nothing comparent to the feeling of holding my sweet newborn when all is said and done.

 

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Can you believe that in a little over two months, I’ll be a mother of two?

Well, it could be a sooner than two months given my history, but still.

In two months, give or take a few days, M will be a big sister.  I will be a mother of two girls.  My family will grow from three to a family of four.

It’s a little overwhelming to think about.  These two months will fly by so fast with the holidays being right in the middle of all of it.  Before we know it, the new year is here and we are anxiously waiting for this baby to arrive.

It feels like forever that we were trying to get pregnant.  It feels like forever that I was posting about the disappointment month after month of not being pregnant.  It feels like forever that I finally had the great news to share and all my posts started revolving about morning sickness.  It feels like forever that the chances of the baby’s survival were 50/50 due to the large bleed I experienced towards the end of the first trimester.  It feels like forever that I was thinking that the bleeding and spotting would just never end.

This pregnancy feels like forever, yet it feels like it’s zooming on by.

Maybe it’s because I’ve been out of work since July.  Maybe it’s because it’s been one scare after another.  Maybe it’s because the doctors appointments have been so frequent.  Maybe it’s because we’ve had to take this pregnancy week by week.  Maybe it’s because we’ve had to cherish every day that I’ve been pregnant and not in the emergency room or in Labor & Delivery.  Maybe it’s just because we are so anxious to meet this little girl already.

I’m hoping I make it two more months.  If I don’t and she wants to come early, I pray that this baby will come out late enough to be completely healthy, just like her older sister.

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