Living life in the carpool lane..

Posts Tagged ‘things my husband says..

I haven’t had a post like this for a LOOOOOONG time.  Not because my husband isn’t saying anything blog-worthy, but because I can never remember what he says by the time I’m ready to sit down at my computer and blog about it.

It must be residual “prego-brain” but I have heard that it never really goes away…

The other night, I had a headache…

Hubby:  You know, when I get a stomachache, that usually means my stomach is empty.  So, if you have a headache, that might mean that your head…

I didn’t even let him finish that thought.. we just started laughing and laughing.. so much that M started laughing, even though I’m pretty sure she didn’t know what was going on.. she just wanted to laugh.

I hope I start remembering more of the “things my husband says..”  He’s such a comedian.. NOT!

A few nights ago, we were searching the TV’s guide (not TV Guide) to see what we can watch.. hubby finds figure skating on TV..

Hubby:  Oooh, figure skating!  Let’s watch!
Me:  Huh?  Really, figure skating?!
Hubby:  Yeah.. let’s watch it..
Me: You like figure skating?  Why?

Figure skater on TV attempts a jump and falls..

Hubby:  That’s why.

I keep telling Hubby that he should sing songs to Little M.  Unfortunately, Hubby hasn’t really had much experience, or practice, singing to little kids.. here’s an example.

Old MacDonald
Hubby:  Old MacDonald had a car..
Me:  Farm.
Hubby:  What?
Me:  Old MacDonald had a FARM..
Hubby:  He had a tractor!

At least he’s trying..



I like to think of Little M as being super efficient.. she tends to do her poops while she’s eating.. it’s an efficient system.. but this is what hubby thinks..

Hubby:  She poops and eats at the same time..
Me:  Yup.. she’s efficient!
Hubby:  That’s like me bringing my dinner plate into the bathroom..
Me:  Well, geez.. if you put it in those terms.. it’s gross..
Hubby:  That’s pretty much what it is..

Thanks Hubby, it was totally cute until you turned it into “adult” terms..

Hubby finally gave in and opened a Facebook account.. it’s about time he joined the rest of civilization!!

Me:  How come you don’t like or comment on any of my posts or pictures?
Hubby: Because I live with you.
Me:  But it’s cute!
Hubby:  I leave you comments all the time, IN PERSON!  Oooh.. concept!
Me: …
Hubby:  …
Me:  Fine.. I won’t like or comment on your page either.. I’ll just tell you in person.. ‘You’re a dork!’
Hubby:  No Facebook drama.. it’s just electrons on a screen!

Electrons on a screen?!  Really?!

The other week or so, we bought a box of those Uncrustables at Costco.  We pretty much breezed through that entire box.. it was addicting to eat!

We took a quick trip to the grocery store.. we bought jelly.. then.. the following conversation occurred..

Hubby:  Oh man.  We should have bought peanut butter and bread!
Me:  Huh? (I wasn’t really paying attention..)
Hubby:  Peanut butter and jelly.. to make an Uncrustable.. with the crust.
Me:  Then it’s not an Uncrustable.. it’s just a sandwhich…


Lately, hubby and I have been playing “Guess that body part!” with the baby in my belly.. she’s been moving and pushing so much that sometimes we think we can figure out body parts.. hubby gets really excited about his “daddy’s little girl.”

Talks into belly..

Hubby:  Hi baby!  Remember when you were just a blob?!  Now you’ve got bones and you are distinguishable..
Me:  Hahah..
Hubby: (Towards belly.) You’re a baby now!  (Juggles tummy.)  You’re a little baby!!!!

A blob to a baby… gotta love the hubby for summing up the miracle of life so simply!

Hubby and I discussing some logistics about our upcoming baby shower.. this is our conversation:

Me:  So where will we open gifts?
Hubby:  We can open it there.  The gifts will be tiny because the baby is tiny.
Me: …

“The gifts will be tiny because the baby is tiny?!”  Hahahah.. we’ll see about that.. baby gifts can be ginormous! 

I love my hubby!

Ok.. I have a problem..

I like fruit.. but I most enjoy my fruit in smoothie form.. from Jamba Juice or from Juice It Up.. or any other smoothie place.. but we all know that the most healthiest form of fruit is to just eat it naturally..

That’s where my problem gets in the way..

I like my food free of any wierd blemish.. therefore.. my fruit has to be IMMACULATE.. I’m serious.. there cannot be a bruise or a brown spot.. or a dent or any other mark on it..

I think that’s why I enjoy processed foods so much.. they are all automated to look perfect each time..

Natural foods come with natural marks and blemishes..

I can deal with mushy fruit.. I can’t deal with ripened or over-ripened fruit..

When I buy fruit, I have a two day window to eat it.. anything after two days goes to the hubby to eat.  I think that’s why when we go shopping for fruit, I buy no more than three pieces.. because I know if I buy more.. they will go to waste once the bruises and the soft spots come in. 

Yesterday.. hubby bought a new package of strawberries..

Hubby:  I’m gonna make you a kiwi-strawberry fruit salad
Me:  Ok.. but the strawberries are all old and icky now (“old and icky” means past two days old)
Hubby:  I bought a new package
Me:  Ok.. make sure you get the perfect ones.. I had to throw out some last time cuz they had soft spots..
Hubby:  YOU choose the strawberries..

Out of the entire package of strawberries.. I found 5 that were up to standard.. FIVE.. and that was a big package..

Another issue I have with fruit is that it has to be sour.. I’m not big on super sweet fruit.. I like sour fruit.. sour and hard.. especially with mango.. I LOVE mango.. but it has to be hard and sour and sooo not ripe..

I know I have major issues.. it makes it soo hard to eat fruit on a daily basis..

I’m going to try not to teach my daughter to have my fruit habit.. so that it doesn’t limit her fruit intake.. I’ll let hubby teach her his fruit eating ways..

Hubby and I at the baseball game.
Me:  So, what’s going on now?
Hubby: Baseball.
Me: …

Hubby rubs his eyes on my shoulder
Me:  Hunny!  Gross.. your eye junk’s getting on my shoulder
Hubby:  It’s a gift from God..
Me:  Really?
Hubby:  Yup, like me!

Hubby and I watching the basketball game
Me:  So what’s going on now?
Hubby:  Basketball.
Me: ….

While watching the Glee season finale
Hubby:  Who’s Patti Lupone?!
Me: A broadway actress, she was in Evita and ….
Hubby:  You know who she is?
Me: Uh.. ya..
Hubby:  Aww.. my wife is theater dork..
Me:  Whatever dude, you watch Glee!

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July 2020