Living life in the carpool lane..

Posts Tagged ‘parenthood

My kids have a gift.  My kids have a talent.

My kids have the ability to make me look like I have no control over them whatsoever whenever we are in public.

No, really.

They make me look like I’m a completely ‘hot mess mama’ that can’t handle her own kids.

I don’t know how they do it.

And I swear that when I’m home, I have things seemingly under control.  At least, I think I do.

Maybe it’s because I don’t have to interact with other people, that I feel like my kids behave better when we are at home?

Maybe it’s because there are more things to see, hear and experience out than at home?

Maybe it’s because I’m just fooling myself into thinking I have things under control when I’m home?  That’s probably it.

K is at the age where she needs to experience everything.  I’m serious when I say EVERYTHING.  Today, at Costco, she felt the need to feel every package of bread that was within her reach.  EVERY. SINGLE. PACKAGE.

And I get it.  She’s at a very exploratory age.  She uses all her senses to get a feel for the world surrounding her.  But, when she refuses to sit in the shopping cart, so I compromise and allow her to walk while holding my hand, AND we have to keep up with Hubby and M ahead of us?

Hot mess.

What about when M is in dance class and I can barely stop K from wanting to get on that dance floor and join the class.  Thank goodness for the large waiting area in the back of the class, but it’s a real struggle to keep her on the carpeted area instead of the dance floor.  And when she refuses to cooperate, she screams.  Loud.  So loud the whole class can hear.  And I cringe.  It feels like I have no control over that kid.

Hot mess.

Or the time when we were at the music store and I was purchasing a piano book for M.  I’m at the register holding K trying to pay for the book when she decides she just wants to go down.  She begins to squirm and wiggle.  When that doesn’t work, she screams.  Loud.  Loudly, in my ears.  On top of that, M decides she wants to try out the bongo drums.  With nodes (click here), I’m not allowed to talk over loud noises.  So, I’m wrestling with K, trying to keep her in my arms.  I’m begging M to please stop playing the drums.  I’m wrestling with K again to stop trying to remove all the contents out of my wallet.  I’m begging M AGAIN to quit playing the drums.  I’m trying so hard to stay calm for the sake of my vocal chords and because I’m sure the store would not appreciate a mom having a meltdown.

I wanted to drop everything I was doing, sit on the floor and just cry.  Seriously.  I was THAT overwhelmed.  I wanted to give up and just wait for Hubby to come and rescue me.

I felt like I lost all control.

We’ve all been there, right?

But it is what it is.  I held K a little tighter.  Gave her a bunch of kisses and talked her through all the frustration (which was probably more for me than anything else).  M eventually listened and stopped banging the drum.  I purchased the book.  We went home.

The whole scenario probably lasted five minutes, but it felt like an eternity.

And in the grand scheme of things, this is only the tip of the iceberg when it comes to parenting trials.  This is all probably the easy stuff.

But c’mon!  Can’t they make me look like I have everything under control sometimes?  I mean, can’t they help me look like less flustered?  Just do mommy a favor and stop making me look like a hot mess all the time.

I know I’m not the only one that feels this!  Share your story in the comments below!

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Facebook showed me that on April 6, 2015, I officially became a SAHM.

It was the day that my maternity leave finally ended and I had made the decision to not go back to work.

In actuality, I had been a SAHM since July of 2014, when my pregnancy to K had complications that caused me to remain on disability until the day she was born.  I was a SAHM with some limitations due to my modified bedrest restrictions.

But in April, that’s when it felt “official.”

Since then, life has been a blur of preschool volunteer days, target trips, and bustling around town to all sorts of classes and activities.  On top of trying to keep the kids fed and the schedules straight, I’ve also found time to resurrect this blog and to keep an active Etsy shop going.

How do I do it?

Well, I just don’t sleep.

I’m typing this in our bedroom, on our bed, while the family is snoring peacefully in the background.

#teamnosleep

I knew going into this that becoming a SAHM was not going to be easy.  Becoming a SAHM has definitely been the hardest job I’ve ever tackled.  It’s non-stop, it’s never ending, it’s exhausting.

It’s never been more fulfilling.

Becoming a SAHM is definitely my dream come true.  It’s the job I always wanted.

One year later, I still love it.

I don’t make friends very easily.  It’s a personality flaw that I’ve dealt with my entire life.

I’m shy and terrible at making conversation… until now.

I’m truly starting to believe that one of the reasons we put our kids in various activities is to, not only expose your child to different things, but to give parents a chance to meet other parents.

This must be a real thing, right?

I mean, ever since M started preschool and dance class, I’ve met a lot of other awesome people that I would have never met if she had not been in these activities.

I’m making friends.

I’m talking to people.  I’m learning how to make and sustain a conversation.

Not only are these activities great for M’s social skills, they are helping my social skills out too!

Not kidding!

Why wasn’t it this easy for me when I was school aged?  Did it really take parenthood to open me up?

Better late than never!

Since August 2015:

  • M started 4yo preschool 3 days a week.
  • I became the classroom’s room mother.
  • M turned 4yo.
  • K walked at 9mo.
  • K turned 1yo.
  • Hubby got a promotion and a raise.
  • We bought an awesome new dining table and started having more family dinners. (Long overdue, I know..)
  • We’ve been to Legoland at least once a month, sometimes more.
  • I started a food blog (Joe, Party of 4)
  • M obsessed over Shopkins
  • M got over the Shopkins obsession.
  • M currently obsesses over Pokemon (specifically, Pikachu)
  • I’ve become obsessed with memory keeping
  • I’ve attempted to do some bible journaling
  • We dressed up as The Simpsons for Halloween
  • We bought a selfie stick
  • We did Elf on the Shelf for the first time
  • We did an Advent calendar for the first time
  • I started selling ribbon clips in my Etsy store, CutieQ Cards n Crafts.
  • This banner became a best seller, selling at least once a month!
  • M started taking a dance class
  • M had a daddy/daughter date watching Frozen on Ice
  • M and I became obsessed with Lush
  • Snapchat became our favorite phone app
  • We’ve been living with my in-laws for the past month and a half while our house gets some work done.

 

The one difference I’ve noticed between my two girls is that K is NOT a sleeper.

M is a great sleeper.  She can easily sleep 11-12 hours a night.  Although she doesn’t nap as often anymore, when she did, she could easily do 2-3 hours.

K is the last one to sleep, first one to wake up.  Her naps are cat naps compared to her sister.  It’s very rare that she nap for more than 30 minutes.

I’m pretty sure M spoiled us with the whole sleeping thing.  K just brought us back down to reality.

The bottom line is… I’m tired.

If you’ve read this blog for awhile, you know we are cosleepers.

All four of us are in the bed at night.

It’s great until the 3 year old wakes up.

It’s great until the 3 year old wakes up at 4 am.

It’s great until the 3 year old wakes up at 4 am and wakes up her baby sister.

It’s great until the 3 year old wakes up and 4 am and wakes up her baby sister, falls back asleep and leaves ME to take care of the baby that’s now wide awake.

I’m just saying.

On Sunday, June 28th, K turned 6 months old.

6 MONTHS OLD!!!

I don’t know how that happened so quickly.  One minute she was born and one second later, she turned six months old.

Obviously we had a half-birthday celebration.  We had an ice cream cake to celebrate.  It was a special request from Big Sister M that we had one.  We all got to enjoy it, except K.  She stared at us with sad eyes as we all ate the ice cream cake.  I felt so bad, but I know that she will soon be able to enjoy all the yummy foods.

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A week before K turned six months old, she hit several of her milestones.

She’s mobile. Yes.  Mobile.  She perfected her army crawl and had started moving around all over the place.  My days have now consisted of making sure she doesn’t crawl off to tight corner or crawl towards something dangerous.

She sits up on her own unassisted.  You can see it in the last blog post, here.  Of course, her reflexes aren’t quick enough yet, so she can’t be left completely alone while sitting up.  But I don’t have to always hold on to her anymore.  She can sit up and play around just like her big sister.

She knows how to “close and open” her hand.  It’s a trick that my family teaches the babies at such an early age.  She’s got it down already.  It’s so cute to see.

When she’s in the mood, she can blow raspberries if asked.  She can copy me when I blow raspberries.  She can also stick out her tongue when asked and when she copies me.

She’s been able to get up on her hands and knees into a proper crawling position, but still hasn’t figured out the actually crawling motion.  She’s constantly up on her hands and knees and I can see her little brain trying to figure out what to do next, but the message just hasn’t gotten down to her extremities.  I have a feeling that things will click soon and that she will really be on the go!

One milestone that hit just as she turned six months was the recognition of her name.  I’m assuming she’s recognizing her name because when I call her, she will turn her head to look at me.  At first I thought it was because I was making a noise, but I tried calling out different names and sounds and she wouldn’t turn.  When I would call her by her name, she would turn.

I can’t believe how fast she’s blowing through her milestones.  I like to think it’s because she loves her big sister so much that she is very determined to catch up to her so she can play.  K already likes to follow M around to where ever M is playing.  It’s really cute to watch.

She currently dislikes her carseat.  She hates being strapped down and will cry for the entire car ride.  She is also known to scream and flail during an entire car ride.  It’s a very stressful situation for both of us, especially when I’m the one driving and I can’t be with her in the back seat to try and calm her.  When we get home, and I quickly take her out of the car, she’s a red, tear-streaked, sweaty mess.. It’s so heartbreaking, but there are times we HAVE to go out, like when M has her weekly class.  We’ve resorted to only taking her out with us if we have to know so that she reduces her stress… I’m hoping this phase will pass soon.  Only time will tell…

She’s starting to become more aware of the people outside of her immediate circle.  If we enter a house, or have visitors, and the people start to surround her, she feels a bit overwhelmed and bombarded.  She will start to cry and find cover in my arms.  It takes her awhile to warm up to some people and situations.  But once she’s comfortable, she is super friendly will play with anyone that comes her way..

She’s growing up so fast that I feel like I’m living in a whirlwind.  She’s showing herself to be a very independent little girl with a fighting and determined spirit.  If she doesn’t like something, she will let you know.  She loves to be on the floor discovering all the different toys and textures of her surroundings.  It’s bittersweet watching her just go around.  I’m so proud of her independence, but at the same time, I want her to just sit and cuddle with me.  I’m in awe of the little person she’s becoming.

I can’t wait to see what the next six months are going to bring.

Today is K’s baptism.

By the end of the day, she will have completed her first Sacrament in the Catholic Church.  She gets to wear the long white dress.  She will smell like Chrism oil by the end of the day.  We will have celebrated the big day with a little reception at a restaurant and will probably have some people come over the house at the end of it all.

By the end of the day, little K will be a part of the Catholic Church.

I’m excited.

I’m hoping she won’t cry too hard when the water gets poured on her head.

Congratulations to little M on fulfilling the first of many Sacraments.  We love you!

When my girls were born, I would often look at them and wonder…

What will they look like when they have hair?

What will they look like when they have teeth?

What will their voices sound like?

What will they look like when they are school aged?

What will they look like when they get to high school?

What kind of adults will they become? 

Yes.. I wonder about their futures.  I wonder about what kind of relationship my girls will have with each other.  I wonder about what kind of clothing style they will have as they get older.  I wonder about what kind of significant other they will have.  I wonder about who they will settle with and if they will give me grandchildren.  Then, I start to wonder about what kind of grandchildren I will have..

It goes on and on and on…

I’m excited for the future, but I’m loving the present so much.  Time flies so fast so I’m making sure I will cherish every single moment I have with them now.  Eventually, all my questions will be answered.

On Monday, I started a new job…

It’s a job that I’ve wanted for almost all my life.  It’s a job that I have been begging for since M was born.  It’s a job that will be the hardest job I’ve ever had, but it’s the only job I’ve ever wanted.

Stay At Home Mom

Yup.  It’s official.

I put in my resignation last week and started this new job on Monday, officially.

I’d been home since July since there were complications with my pregnancy with K.  It seemed like the most logical choice to stay home.  I had been home for almost a year already, 10 months to be exact.  M was just so used to having me here.  I’d ask her if she wanted me to go back to work and she’d tell me, “No, just stay here with me.”  How could I leave her knowing she wanted me around?

Now I won’t have to feel the anxiety of knowing that I’ll have to leave these girls behind to spend most of the day somewhere else.  Now I won’t have to worry about how much time off I have left every time one of them would get sick.  Now I won’t have to worry about how they are doing, what the are eating, how they are feeling while I’m away.  Now I won’t have to leave the comfort of a nice warm cuddle when the alarm goes off in the morning.  I can stay up late with any of the kids and not have to worry about how many hours of sleep I will get because I’ll have work the next day.

I can spend a sleepless night with one of the girls and not have to worry about how much coffee I have to drink to function the next day.. wait, no… this will still happen.. It just won’t have to happen at work…

I’m not going to miss a single smile, coo, movement, cry, laugh, or anything in between.  I’m going to watch K grow up the way I wished I got to see M grow up.

I’m very excited for this new chapter of my life and what direction my blog will take because of this change.


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