Living life in the carpool lane..

Archive for the ‘The crystal ball..’ Category

June is here. 

Time is flying way too fast and it’s giving me anxiety. 

In two and a half months, M starts preschool. 

In my head, when a child starts school, that’s when time really starts flying. They start preschool and before we blink, she’s graduating from high school.

Seriously, M starting preschool is a HUGE deal for me. If you thought I was a worrying person before, I’m surely going to surpass what I was. 

There is just a whole other set of things to worry about when your kid is out of your hands for hours at a time. 

Now I know you’re thinking, “You were a working mom. How is this different?”

It’s extremely different. 

  • She’s not with family. 
  • She’s not with me. 
  • Someone else is responsible for her. 
  • Other kids. 
  • Other adults. 

It’s just different and hard for me to wrap my head around the fact that she’s old enough for school. 

I feel like I might be over thinking things. I might be over-worrying. 

I always have a major fear of the unknown. I worry about all the worst-case scenarios until I work myself into an anxiety attack. 

This is definitely one of those cases…

But it’s good to have this blog, this outlet, to pour all my fears and anxieties. 

I want to be able to read back to this entry and tell myself, “See, that wasn’t so bad, was it?!”

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When my girls were born, I would often look at them and wonder…

What will they look like when they have hair?

What will they look like when they have teeth?

What will their voices sound like?

What will they look like when they are school aged?

What will they look like when they get to high school?

What kind of adults will they become? 

Yes.. I wonder about their futures.  I wonder about what kind of relationship my girls will have with each other.  I wonder about what kind of clothing style they will have as they get older.  I wonder about what kind of significant other they will have.  I wonder about who they will settle with and if they will give me grandchildren.  Then, I start to wonder about what kind of grandchildren I will have..

It goes on and on and on…

I’m excited for the future, but I’m loving the present so much.  Time flies so fast so I’m making sure I will cherish every single moment I have with them now.  Eventually, all my questions will be answered.

M is turning three in two months and I have to bite the bullet and look for preschool options.

For the longest time, I thought that I could enroll her into a mommy&me preschool class for 3 years olds.  By then, I would be  stay-at-home mom and this would all be possible.

I made a phone call to the one preschool that I knew did mommy&me preschool classes and found out that they do not have a 3 year old option.

I’m crushed! 

So now, I’m just looking into a good, and reasonably priced, preschool program for her. 

I’m learning that private preschools are expensive! 

The option we are seriously considering is going through the school district.  They have parent volunteering options which I would LOVE to do.  By then, I’ll have a newborn at home, but I know we can make it work. 

It’s a total reality check that my little M is getting older.  I’m not ready for it, but it’s going to happen whether I’m ready or not!

Any advice on preparing for preschool?  Leave them in the comments below!

 

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Last week, Nick Carter of the Backstreet Boys and Jordan Knight of New Kids On The Block made the announcement that they created a musical duo together, will be releasing an album, AND will be going on tour!

Nick and Jordan are my favorite members of the two boy bands that basically defined my childhood. 

Til this day, I still squeal with delight every time I hear news about them, or catch them on TV.

They’ve been such a part of my life for so at least twenty one years!  Amazing!

It made me wonder about M.  What kind of music will she like?  What sort of celebrity will she have a crush on?  What pop culture phenomenon will define her childhood and adolescence?  What will make her giddy and squeal way into her adult years?

Motherhood.. it really makes you think sometimes..

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Last year, I decided to pick a word that would follow me through out the entire year.

Last year, I picked CHARGE.

This year, I picked CHALLENGE.

This year, I also decided to do the official “One Little Word” year long workshop held by Ali Edwards.   Because it’s more of a scrapbook, craft type project, a lot of the posts of my “One Little Word” journey will be found on my CutieQ Cards n Crafts blog.

I want to blog here about it because I want to talk about why I chose this word.

CHALLENGE.

I picked this word for the layers it seems to have.

Challenges can be seen as obstacles.

This year is going to present itself with a lot of challenges, the possibility of a new baby, becoming a mother of two, figuring out what I want to do careerwise.  This year just looks like it’s going to be one challenge after another.

I chose this word to remind myself that challenges are coming.  I must prepare.

Challenges can also be seen as tests.

This year, I want to challenge myself to become a better person, better mother, better wife, better friend.  I want to give myself little challenges to push myself to stop being so complacent and just put myself out there.  I want to challenge myself to step out of my comfort zone sometimes and do things to allow myself to grow.

I also want to challenge myself to be more creative.  Craft more.  Scrapbook more.  Make more card sales on Etsy.  Make more custom orders.  Make more blog entries.  I want to challenge myself to get better at designing.

Challenge.

CHALLENGE.

It’s such a good word.

It’s a challenge.  It’s a push.

It’s my word of the year.

CHALLENGE.

Alright.. January 2nd, 2014.

I’m back at the daily grind.. the usual schedule.. the 9a-5p.. or, in my case, the 7a-3:30p…

It’s 2014 and I have to get used to writing “14” instead of “13.”  It takes me awhile to even get used to the month changing.. lets see how long it takes me to get used to this year change.

So here we are, at 2014. 

This year, I…

  1. Will turn 34.
  2. Will be the mother to a three year old.
  3. Hopefully get pregnant with baby #2.
  4. Hopefully find the change I need to feel satisfied with my “career.”
  5. Will have known and dated Hubby for 6 years.
  6. Will have been married for 4 years.
  7. Will have scrapbooked at least 60 layouts this year (that’s 5 layouts a month..).
  8. Will have increased success in creating and selling some crafts.
  9. Will finally get down to my full weightloss goal.. (only to get prego again!).
  10. Finally figure out how to proper meal plan and grocery shop.
  11. Enjoy family time.
  12. Make several trips to the Birch Aquarium (since we are now members!)
  13. Enjoy friends (ie. make sure M lives in a germ-free bubble so that we can actually hang out with friends).
  14. Take more pictures.

Fourteen things for 2014.  How cute was that?!

What will happen to you in 2014?

I have to admit, there’s a lot going on right now..

Work is just taking all my time away during the day.  Then home life is just as hectic.

On top of trying to keep from drowning in laundry, there’s a little person I have to make sure doesn’t bonk her head on any and every hard surface there is in our apartment.  On top of that, I have to make sure she eats.  On top of that, I have to make sure the Hubby eats.  On top of that, we’ve been doing a massive reorganization of the apartment.  On top of that, I’ve got a craft blog to keep up.  On top of that, I’ve got several projects for a friend’s wedding I need to finish.

Isn’t life great?!

I know when things get hectic like this, something has to give.  But what?

With all that’s going on, I feel like the blog is suffering.  The stories are few.  I’m just trying to keep my head above water. 

I told myself that when I started this blog I wouldn’t fill it with useless complaints.  I told myself I wouldn’t make this blog all “woe is me” and “my life sucks,” because I know very well that it doesn’t.  We just go through ups and downs.  We just occasionally find ourselves in a funk, but what’s so great about it is that it’s only temporary. 

Well, I’m definitely going through a funk right now.  I’m desperate for a career change.  I seriously can’t see myself doing this for the rest of my life anymore.  Maybe it’s the burn out, maybe it’s a real longing for change.  I don’t know.  All I know is, I’m not 100% happy with where my career is right now. 

But I’ll give it time.

It’s just a funk.

I’m working on pushing my way out of it.  Maybe that’s why I’ve been so desperate to get this apartment reorganization done.  Making change that will actually get accomplished will make me feel so productive.  I need to know I can make a change happen, even if its as simple as an apartment reorganization.

If you see the blog suffer a bit, let me know.  If you find that the posts are starting to become more pessimistic, let me know. 

If there is anything you ever wish to have me discuss, review, or try… let me know.

I promise to keep my complaining to a minimum..


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