Living life in the carpool lane..

Posts Tagged ‘working mother

Not gonna lie, I’m kinda starting to feel a little burned out.

Work has been super crazy busy, then I come home, and it’s second shift.. the mommy shift.

Work has been pretty much non-stop for 8 eight hours.  It’s not a completely bad thing.  Being really busy DOES make the time go so much faster and before I know it, it’s time to go home.

But then I feel like I get no rest.

I get home before M and Hubby do, usually that time is spent preparing dinner, or working on some craft projects.

My favorite times after work are when I can work on a craft project.  The hustle and bustle of my day job actually helps my creativity flow and I’ve been able to crank out a few good cards and scrapbook layouts.

Other times, it’s straight to the kitchen to start dinner.  Then, in the middle of cooking, M and Hubby usually get home and then it’s non-stop with the toddler until bedtime.

More often than not, these days, I’ve been falling asleep before she does.

I wish I could just concentrate on one thing.  Being a mom.

Ok.. two things.  Being a crafter.  Being a mom.

Ok.. three things.  Being a wife.  Being a crafter.  Being a mom.

Ok.. four things.  Keeping the apartment clean.  Being a wife  Being a crafter. Being a mom.

Well.. I guess it isn’t as simple as I thought.

I just want more hours in the day, but doesn’t everyone?

I’m exhausted.  I need a break.  I nice good loooooooong sleep.

Thank God it’s Friday.

 

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It’s been a busy few days at work.. It’s been non-stop work for 8 hours and it leaves me absolutely exhausted by the time I get home..

I get home before M and Hubby, so I get to spend at least an hour alone to unwind.

Of course, when I get home, it isn’t complete relaxation.

Once I’m home, I don’t even sit down.  Most days I go straight to the kitchen to start putting away dishes and start cooking something..

There are days when I go right to the laundry after the kitchen..

After getting that done, I can finally sit down at the craft table.. it’s my way to unwind and clear my head.. it’s a great therapy that I hope to one day make more than just a hobby.. but only time will tell.

Once I’m heavy into my crafting, I hear the door open and a little voice repeatedly saying, “Mimi, Mimi, Mimi..” until she gets into the craft room to see me.

Then, she gets this huge smile on her face, and with so much conviction, she says, “Mimi!”

Of course, I run straight to her.. she lifts her arms for me to carry her.. then she tells me “Hug.” and she gives me this super sweet hug with her arms wrapped around me as tight as she can and her head resting so comfortably on my shoulder..

It’s as if she’s telling me that she’s so glad to be with me again.. it’s like she tells me she misses me while we are apart..

I love it.

I leave the craft room with my darling daughter in my arms and go to greet Hubby.  We talk a little bit about our day and joke around a little.. or a lot!

Once they come home, I flip the switch into “mommy mode” and get no rest until it’s time to go to sleep..

It’s not the ideal life that I had pictured myself to have when I were to have kids.. being a working mommy.. but it’s my life.. and there’s so much love in our little family..

I couldn’t ask for anything more.

What’s your day-to-day parent life like?

Sometimes I sit at work sad that I’m not home with Little M.

I feel bad that I’m not there when she wakes up in the morning on the weekdays.  I feel bad that I don’t get to play with her during the day.

I don’t like thinking about it too much because it breaks my heart.

But.. I have to do what I have to do.. just like all working mothers.

I live for the weekends where Little M can open her eyes and the first person she sees is her “mimi.”  She smiles so big and then she says, “mimi!”  And then she says “Doh-wah.”  But.. that’s beside the point.. hahah!

For me, being a working mother is the biggest sacrifice I’ve had to make.  Growing up, I always thought I would be a stay-at-home mother.  That’s what my mother was, and I just automatically assumed that I would be one too..

But times are different.. two income families are necessities.. and I have had to learn to deal with that reality.

It would be great to be able to stay at home with her more than just the weekends.. work fewer days a week.. and still earn the same money I am making currently.. hmm.. maybe I should have become a nurse!

This is my life.  This is my reality.  It makes me a little sad, but I know I’m not alone.

 

I took a little vacation from work to be a SAHM (stay at home mommy).

My inlaws usually watch Little M and they went on vacation for two weeks.  So I took a week off last week, and my mother is watching her this week!

I have to say that the little taste of “stay at home momness” was amazing.  It was so hard, but so fun at the same time.

She’s definitely harder to raise 24/7 than she was when I was on maternity leave!

It’s just that she’s EVERYWHERE and into EVERYTHING!  I love it!

It was so fun and such a great extra bonding experience to have with her, and I pray ALL THE TIME that we will be blessed with an opportunity to allow me to do it full-time. 

I do have to admit that by the end of the week, I was definitely refreshed and ready to go to work.. but that totally ended when I went to work on Monday and wished I was on vacation again..

Sigh.

Sometimes I think about my life and how I could possibly change it..

No, I don’t hate my life.  I’ve said it many times that I totally feel blessed and loved. 

But I still dream of the day that I will  win the lottery and Hubby will finally say, “Yes dear, I think it’s time for you to be a Stay At Home Mom.”

So…

Wouldn’t it be ideal to find a job that I could work from home?

It’d be the best of both worlds.  We’d still be a dual-income family, AND I’d be home to watch Little M!

Ok, so my particular profession would not allow me to work from home.  I really don’t think we have the room in our apartment for a fully equipt laboratory with all the fancy lab equipment and storage..

Could you imagine… my curious little toddler as my lab assistant… hahah!

There aren’t very many legit “work from home” jobs out there..

The only ones I see are those ones that are in my email’s spam folder, right next to the emails from my “friends” saying they took an unexpected trip to Europe, got robbed, and now need “x” amount of Euros to get home..

I could always try making cards again… but that totally isn’t enough to become a second income.  I only wanted to do that in order to have extra spending money on my crafty stuff..

I guess I just gotta suck it up and work away from the home.  Tons of other mothers do this all the time..  I’m not the only one.

So, I’ve been back at work for about five months or so now..

And I have to tell you that leaving my nice warm bed with my comfy, cozy Little M snuggled up next to me does NOT get easier with time..

In fact, I think it’s getting harder and harder..

Yesterday morning, I woke up to a sense of someone leaning on my shoulder.  I open my eyes and there’s Little M’s wide awake face staring intently at my sleepy face.

She had the biggest smile when she saw me wake up.. like she was waiting to see how long it took for me to realize she was watching me..

It’s those moments on the weekend that I look forward to the most.  The older she gets, the more aware she is, and that makes her so much more fun to wake up with.

I think that’s also what makes it so much harder for me to leave her every morning during the week..

It makes me sad that we don’t get those little “waking up” moments everyday.. and to think that she has to wake up without me in the morning is heartbreaking.  I’m sure for her she doesn’t quite understand.. she just wakes up.. sometimes mommy is there and sometimes she isn’t.. and that’s the consolation I get.. it doesn’t affect her as much as it affects me..

I know that it’s supposed to make my weekends even more special.. and yadda yadda blah blah blah.. but is that really necessary?  It doesn’t make me feel better..

It’s a new chapter of our lives for my little family and I..

After 5 months of maternity leave, I have officially gone back to work… I started yesterday and that was so hard..

The hardest part is leaving.  Granted, she’s asleep so I don’t have to face her and really say good bye.. but still..

It’s so hard to lave the warm, cozy, comfy, cuddly bed.. she usually finds herself pressed up right against me during the night and it’s so hard to break away from that..

I thought about her all day.. it was so hard not to.. I filled my work computer with pictures of her so my screen saver would just flash pictures of her.. and I changed my desktop picture to one of her.. hubby even gave me a picture frame so I can put it on my desk of her and our little family..

My coworkers, almost all working mothers, say it does get easier.. but that it is one of the most difficult things to do.. at least I’m blessed to have family watching her while we work..

I will definitely miss our mornings together and days where we don’t really do anything but hang out.. but I know that I always have the weekends.. and vacations.. and holidays..

When we all got home last night, she didn’t want to eat from anyone else but me.. she wanted me to always play with her.. and at night, curled up right next to me and put her little arm on my chest as she fell asleep.. I know she missed me just as much as I missed her..

It’s new to the both of us.. so in time, we’ll all get used to this new chapter of our family life..


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