Living life in the carpool lane..

Posts Tagged ‘Mother

After dropping off M at school one day, K and I decided to do a Michael’s run.  I had a couple of items I needed to buy for an order and the morning was the perfect time to do so.

K was not up to it at all.  She wanted out of the shopping cart.  She wanted to walk around on her own.

I had to shop.  I had to listen to the whining that turned into crying, that almost turned into screaming.

Thank God for the woman that was in line before me.  Having been through this phase in motherhood, she understood that K was probably not going to last much longer and let me make my purchase before her.

By the time, we were done and on our way out of the store, K was practically in tears.  The screaming hadn’t started yet.  It was more her ‘pity cry’ than her “i’m mad, get me out of here NOW” cry.

I took her out of the shopping cart, put the items into the car, and right as I was going to put her into the carseat, she holds me tighter.

She obviously didn’t want to get strapped down into another seat again.

With time to kill, I let her hold me.  I held her back, I squeezed her tight.  I comforted her.

We stood in the parking lot, holding each other and I was swaying back and forth.  We were dancing in the parking lot.

It was all she needed.

It was a pretty hectic morning.  It had been a pretty hectic few days.  All she wanted was to slow down and take a break.

She just wanted hugs.  She just wanted comfort.

We danced in the parking lot for about 10-15 minutes.  Eventually her hold on my relaxed.  We played a bit with her in my arms.  We laughed.  I talked, she babbled.

When it came time to finally put her back into the carseat, she was fine.  She let me strap her in.  She didn’t fuss.  She didn’t complain.  Everything was pleasant again.

In the middle of all the chaos that is our day to day lives, it’s hard to remember to just slow down and take a break.

Thanks, K.  Lesson learned.

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I watch my girls when they sleep.

No, not creepy.

I watch my girls when they sleep.

I look at them, and I can’t believe they are mine.

I look at them, and I can’t believe they were in me.

I look at them, and I can’t believe I made them (with Hubby’s help.)

I look at them, and I can’t believe that I’m a mother.

They are so peaceful when they sleep.  Their faces are so calm and sweet.  I forget the crying.  I forget the tantrums.  I forget the difficulties of parenting when they are sleeping.

When they sleep, parenting feels easy.

When they sleep, I feel like I have this whole “parenting thing” under control.

I watch my girls when they sleep and it makes proud to be their mom.

I watch my girls when they sleep and it reminds me just how much I love them so…

The harder it is to bend over, the more your first child will spill liquids and drop objects on the ground.

True story.

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Hubby asked me, despite everything that has been going on, if I still love being pregnant.  Here’s my answer:

I love being pregnant.  I love feeling the baby move around.  I love knowing that I’m not alone at the moment, that there is always someone with me, even when I’m up at night while all of you are asleep.  I love trying to figure out what body part is poking out of my tummy.  I love trying to figure out what kind of personality this little person in me is going to have based on her movements and how she interacts when I rub my belly.  I love imagining what she’s going to look like when she comes out. 

I don’t like the constant aches and pains.  I really don’t like the first trimester of constant nausea.  I really don’t like the third trimester of constant discomfort.  I don’t like that I waddle.  I don’t like that I gain too much weight during each pregnancy.  I don’t like that this pregnancy had way too many complications.  I don’t like being confined to a wheelchair when we go places.  I don’t like that I’m not allowed to do too much stuff.  I don’t like the sore abdomen muscles.  I don’t like the sore groin muscles.  I don’t like it has to hurt to give birth.  I don’t like the healing process after giving birth.  I don’t like, even though labor is practically a routine thing, that there is always a chance of complication.  I don’t like that I get so irritated so quickly when my hormones go all haywire. 

Hubby says that it seems that the dislikes outnumber the likes.

While it may seem so, the truth of the matter is, I really do love being pregnant and all those dislikes are nothing comparent to the feeling of holding my sweet newborn when all is said and done.

 

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To continue in the ‘mother’s day’ spirit,  I want to share with you something I wrote about becoming a mother on my Instagram on Sunday.

In January 2011, my dreams came true when I got a positive result on a pregnancy test.  Being a mother was something I had always wanted for as long as I could remember.  Nine months later, this precious girl came into my life and my world has never been the same.  She’s exhausting, challenging, and has taught me more about patience than I ever expected.  She’s also entertaining, charming and probably the sweetest, most loving person I know.  She is unconditional love.  I cherish every second that I am your mother.  You, my dear made all my dreams come true.  I love you lots!

Motherhood is something I try not to take for granted, ever.  I love being a mother.  I love being HER mother. 

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Yesterday was Mother’s Day and it was great, like always.

My parents came over for the weekend and my younger brother surprised my mother by showing up for the weekend also.

It was a very laid back holiday.  We ate out, then hung out at home.

When my family left, we ended the day having dinner with Hubby’s family.

It was a day full of love and appreciation.

Did I get anything for Mother’s Day?  No.  I never do. 

Is that a problem?  No.  It never is.

Why?  Because gifts don’t really matter to me. 

All I needed was to hear M tell me, “Happy Mother’s Day.  I love you, Mimi.”  Ok, so I had to tell her to tell me all of that, but hearing it all in her little voice made me melt regardless.

One of these years, she’s going to tell me all of that on her own accord, and it will be just as special.

Motherhood is the best.

Happy mother’s day to all the mommies of the world!

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I just wanted to take the time to thank some of my readers on Facebook for all the sweet and encouraging words you left for me after yesterday’s blogpost.

It was a really blow to my “mommy ego” to know that M fell out of my arms that night. 

Not that I thought I was the best mom out there, but I always felt that I had everything under control. 

That night, when I felt her roll away from me and I watched her just fall, I felt so helpless.

I couldn’t have caught her.  I couldn’t cushion her fall.  I had no control.  I had lost my control.

I just felt bad.

I know that I’m not the only mother that has experienced this.  I know that the future holds so many more instances where my “mommy ego” gets shot down.  

I thank everyone for their kind words.  Thank you for reassuring me that I’m not the only one.  Thank you for being so supportive.

I truly did tear up when I read those comments. 

Thank you.


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