Living life in the carpool lane..

Archive for August 2012

With age comes the development of the superpowers I have eventually inherited from my parents…

This year saw one great super power that has affected my family in many, many ways..

I have developed the superpower of tuning out everyone talking to me while I watch TV.

Here I am on a Tuesday night, Dance Moms is on and I’m watching intently at the reveal of this week’s pyramid.  Suddenly, Hubby is frantically trying to get my attention..

Apparently, he was talking to me for the last 5 minutes and asked me a question..


It’s not like I tune out completely all the time.  I’m still developing this superpower and learning how it works.. The superpower only works when I have Little M in my lap and she is also staring intently at the television screen.

Much to my hubby’s dismay, it looks like this power may be developing sooner in Little M than later..

She and I must learn to use these powers for good.  With great power comes great responsibility…

I must remember to thank my dad for passing on his powers to us..

I finally planted the seed into my darling little girl.

What seed?

Well, the musical theater seed, of course!

It all started one night when my mother kept singing “Happy Talk” from South Pacific.  I found the video on YouTube, but Little M wasn’t too interested.

Then, it hit me.

The Sound Of Music!

I loved that movie as a kid.  I would watch it every day and I had every line memorized when I was about 6 years old.

Why not start it now?

So I found “The Lonely Goatherd” on Youtube and pressed play.

She LOVED it!  She watched it over and over and over. 

The smile on her face was priceless.

I found the DVD and decided to show it to her on the TV and she was so happy.

I decided to try another song, “So Long, Farewell.”

She loved that too.  She enjoyed all the songs that featured the Von Trapp children. 

Now, you can sing the end of “So Long, Farewell” and she’ll also sing “Bah-Bye…” in her little falsetto tone.  It’s so cute!

She likes the “Happy Talk” song from South Pacific, but only when her grandma sings it, and she even does the little hand gestures like the video because my mom shows them to her.

I think I’ll stick to Rodgers & Hammerstein musicals for now.  We’ll save Spring Awakening and Avenue Q for later.. much, much later.

I’m in denial.

Little M is turning a year old in less than a week and I’m in denial.

I’m in denial over the fact that it’s been a year since her birth. 

I’m in denial over the fact that she’s no longer a newborn.

I’m in denial over the fact that an entire year has gone by. 

I feel like I just closed my eyes for a second and she became this little person overnight.

She’s still my baby.  She’s still my little newborn bundle that I took home from the hospital after coming out a month earlier than she was supposed to. 

She’s not a walking, talking, shopping, laughing, singing, screaming little diva..

No.  She’s my baby.  My sleeping, cuddling, snuggling, tiny little baby.

Mothers don’t joke when they tell you to cherish every moment. 

I tried to savor every cuddle, every coo, every little thing she would do and discover.. but time still continues to get away from me.

Is it time to get emotional now?

So two weeks before my Little M turns a year old, she gets sick.

When Hubby brought her home from my mother-in-law’s house Tuesday night, Hubby says that his mom noticed that she seems to be coming down with something.  Her nose was running non-stop.

It really looked like a faucet.

During that night, I woke up to her tossing and turning, as usual.  She usually manages to find her way to odd spots on the bed during the night.

I reach over to pick her up and bring her back to my side when I realize she’s burning up.

We had the warm air vaporizer on in our bedroom because of her runny nose, so I thought she may be warm because of that.

I take her to the living room to cool her off a little and realize that she was still warm.  I take her temperature under her arm pit and it goes shooting up, so I go to take her temperature rectally for confirmation.


Yikes!  She wakes up during my temperature taking and is not a happy camper.  Poor Little M.

I give her Little Fevers fever reducer, much to her fighting and crying, and wait for the fever to go down.

The next morning I make an appointment with her pediatrician and it turns out she has an ear infection.

Poor baby.

The bright side (is there really one?) is that she’s sick 2 weeks before her birthday.  That gives her plenty of time to recover.

Lucky for her, she’s young and recovers quickly.  In fact, she was up and about all day yesterday, like the sickies never happened!

Gotta love that about kids.

So today is the day.

Today, I’m wearing a pair of my pre-prego jeans.


They are a little snug.  And they are from when I was more curvy after graduating college.. but smaller than what I was after having little M..

But they still fit!


It only took me almost a year.. but I’m in them.

And I do have about 20ish pounds to go..

I finally broke away from the 150 pounds.  On a good day I can weigh about 148lbs.  That’s pretty much how I was when I graduated college and gained all this weight from pop tarts and giant cookies.

Mmm.. pop tarts and giant cookies..

That sounds so good right now..

So Hubby thinks its funny to hit his hand up against the wall, car door, or anything near by, whenever he’s picking up Little M and carrying her.  It makes it seem like he’s hit her against something as he picks her up.

Maybe it’s better seen than heard..

Anyway, I fall for it.  Every. Time.

He says that when she’s older he’s going to teach her to react so they can fool Mommy together.

That’s my family.

Little M is pretty much a walker now.. at least at home.. I think she and I suffer from the same bout of anxiety when it comes to walking outside of the home.  She likes to still hold on to me, and in turn, I still want to hold on to her. 

At home is definitely another story.. she’s ALL OVER THE PLACE!

She still hasn’t tried to get up to standing from the middle of the floor, and that’s because I don’t think she really sees the need to.  There are tons of places for her to prop herself up that I don’t think the thought has even crossed her mind to get up from the middle of the floor.

Since she’s started walking, she’s seen no need to stay in the living room to play anymore.  She’s learned that there is more to our apartment than the living room.  There’s a hallway, bedrooms and bathrooms too!  Don’t get me started on the kitchen either!

We’ve begun to shut the door to all the bathrooms and the second bedroom.  We let her walk down the hallway into our bedroom since it’s a clear walking space.  It gives her practice.

One thing I love about her walking is that she loves to follow us.  If one of us goes into the bedroom to get something, she no longer cries because she can’t see us.  She just starts to follow us.  Sometimes she cries because we go too fast for her, so we slow down or come grab her hand and walk down the hall together.

I love that she’s becoming such a little independent girl!


Exactly one month from today, I will have a 1yr old.

I cannot believe how fast this year has gone.  It seems like only yesterday she was a little 5lb peanut coming home from the hospital.

Now she’s walking, getting into everything, and starting to mimic sounds and words she hears..

Where has the time gone?

I remember this time last year, I felt like I was in the final stretch.  I had come to terms with giving birth after being so scared about it throughout the entire pregnancy. 

I wanted her to come, but wanted her to stay inside just a bit longer. 

I didn’t feel like I was ready for her.. I was scared of her actually being here. 

It was because I knew her arrival would change my life forever.  I’d lose sleep.  I’d lose some freedom.  I felt like I was going to lose a lot once she arrived. 

I had always wanted children, but now that the dream was going to be a reality, it really frightened me. 

I never told anyone about this anxiety I felt because it made me feel bad.  Here I was, pregnant and almost ready to go, and I was terrified of the thought of being a mother. 

I think it was more the fear of the unknown.  I was around babies all the time, but they were never my own.. I never lost sleep from them, never had to deal with all the baby bodily fluids, never had to be the “mom.”

Now, here I was.. becoming a mom.. I was scared.  I didn’t know if I could really do it. 

Looking back now, I see that I over-thought the whole process.  I overwhelmed myself with the thoughts of trying to be perfect mother and raising her to be a perfect child.  I was afraid of damaging my little perfect baby with my amateur parenting skills.

It took her birth for me to take a step back and look at things one day at a time.  I’m the only mother she’s going to have.  She doesn’t know if I don’t know what I’m doing.  We’re both taking things one day at a time, and she’s going to love me as long as she knows I love her.

Now, one year later, I don’t claim to be a “mommy expert” by any means, but it feels like second nature to me.. like I was put on this earth to be this little girl’s mother.   I’m definitely not scared of motherhood, regardless of interupted sleep, a constantly active baby, and bodily fluids..

In fact, I feel like I never lost anything by becoming a mother.  Instead, I gained so much from it.


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August 2012