Posts Tagged ‘motherhood’
After dropping off M at school one day, K and I decided to do a Michael’s run. I had a couple of items I needed to buy for an order and the morning was the perfect time to do so.
K was not up to it at all. She wanted out of the shopping cart. She wanted to walk around on her own.
I had to shop. I had to listen to the whining that turned into crying, that almost turned into screaming.
Thank God for the woman that was in line before me. Having been through this phase in motherhood, she understood that K was probably not going to last much longer and let me make my purchase before her.
By the time, we were done and on our way out of the store, K was practically in tears. The screaming hadn’t started yet. It was more her ‘pity cry’ than her “i’m mad, get me out of here NOW” cry.
I took her out of the shopping cart, put the items into the car, and right as I was going to put her into the carseat, she holds me tighter.
She obviously didn’t want to get strapped down into another seat again.
With time to kill, I let her hold me. I held her back, I squeezed her tight. I comforted her.
We stood in the parking lot, holding each other and I was swaying back and forth. We were dancing in the parking lot.
It was all she needed.
It was a pretty hectic morning. It had been a pretty hectic few days. All she wanted was to slow down and take a break.
She just wanted hugs. She just wanted comfort.
We danced in the parking lot for about 10-15 minutes. Eventually her hold on my relaxed. We played a bit with her in my arms. We laughed. I talked, she babbled.
When it came time to finally put her back into the carseat, she was fine. She let me strap her in. She didn’t fuss. She didn’t complain. Everything was pleasant again.
In the middle of all the chaos that is our day to day lives, it’s hard to remember to just slow down and take a break.
Thanks, K. Lesson learned.
Facebook showed me that on April 6, 2015, I officially became a SAHM.
It was the day that my maternity leave finally ended and I had made the decision to not go back to work.
In actuality, I had been a SAHM since July of 2014, when my pregnancy to K had complications that caused me to remain on disability until the day she was born. I was a SAHM with some limitations due to my modified bedrest restrictions.
But in April, that’s when it felt “official.”
Since then, life has been a blur of preschool volunteer days, target trips, and bustling around town to all sorts of classes and activities. On top of trying to keep the kids fed and the schedules straight, I’ve also found time to resurrect this blog and to keep an active Etsy shop going.
How do I do it?
Well, I just don’t sleep.
I’m typing this in our bedroom, on our bed, while the family is snoring peacefully in the background.
I knew going into this that becoming a SAHM was not going to be easy. Becoming a SAHM has definitely been the hardest job I’ve ever tackled. It’s non-stop, it’s never ending, it’s exhausting.
It’s never been more fulfilling.
Becoming a SAHM is definitely my dream come true. It’s the job I always wanted.
One year later, I still love it.
The one difference I’ve noticed between my two girls is that K is NOT a sleeper.
M is a great sleeper. She can easily sleep 11-12 hours a night. Although she doesn’t nap as often anymore, when she did, she could easily do 2-3 hours.
K is the last one to sleep, first one to wake up. Her naps are cat naps compared to her sister. It’s very rare that she nap for more than 30 minutes.
I’m pretty sure M spoiled us with the whole sleeping thing. K just brought us back down to reality.
The bottom line is… I’m tired.
On Sunday, June 28th, K turned 6 months old.
6 MONTHS OLD!!!
I don’t know how that happened so quickly. One minute she was born and one second later, she turned six months old.
Obviously we had a half-birthday celebration. We had an ice cream cake to celebrate. It was a special request from Big Sister M that we had one. We all got to enjoy it, except K. She stared at us with sad eyes as we all ate the ice cream cake. I felt so bad, but I know that she will soon be able to enjoy all the yummy foods.
A week before K turned six months old, she hit several of her milestones.
She’s mobile. Yes. Mobile. She perfected her army crawl and had started moving around all over the place. My days have now consisted of making sure she doesn’t crawl off to tight corner or crawl towards something dangerous.
She sits up on her own unassisted. You can see it in the last blog post, here. Of course, her reflexes aren’t quick enough yet, so she can’t be left completely alone while sitting up. But I don’t have to always hold on to her anymore. She can sit up and play around just like her big sister.
She knows how to “close and open” her hand. It’s a trick that my family teaches the babies at such an early age. She’s got it down already. It’s so cute to see.
When she’s in the mood, she can blow raspberries if asked. She can copy me when I blow raspberries. She can also stick out her tongue when asked and when she copies me.
She’s been able to get up on her hands and knees into a proper crawling position, but still hasn’t figured out the actually crawling motion. She’s constantly up on her hands and knees and I can see her little brain trying to figure out what to do next, but the message just hasn’t gotten down to her extremities. I have a feeling that things will click soon and that she will really be on the go!
One milestone that hit just as she turned six months was the recognition of her name. I’m assuming she’s recognizing her name because when I call her, she will turn her head to look at me. At first I thought it was because I was making a noise, but I tried calling out different names and sounds and she wouldn’t turn. When I would call her by her name, she would turn.
I can’t believe how fast she’s blowing through her milestones. I like to think it’s because she loves her big sister so much that she is very determined to catch up to her so she can play. K already likes to follow M around to where ever M is playing. It’s really cute to watch.
She currently dislikes her carseat. She hates being strapped down and will cry for the entire car ride. She is also known to scream and flail during an entire car ride. It’s a very stressful situation for both of us, especially when I’m the one driving and I can’t be with her in the back seat to try and calm her. When we get home, and I quickly take her out of the car, she’s a red, tear-streaked, sweaty mess.. It’s so heartbreaking, but there are times we HAVE to go out, like when M has her weekly class. We’ve resorted to only taking her out with us if we have to know so that she reduces her stress… I’m hoping this phase will pass soon. Only time will tell…
She’s starting to become more aware of the people outside of her immediate circle. If we enter a house, or have visitors, and the people start to surround her, she feels a bit overwhelmed and bombarded. She will start to cry and find cover in my arms. It takes her awhile to warm up to some people and situations. But once she’s comfortable, she is super friendly will play with anyone that comes her way..
She’s growing up so fast that I feel like I’m living in a whirlwind. She’s showing herself to be a very independent little girl with a fighting and determined spirit. If she doesn’t like something, she will let you know. She loves to be on the floor discovering all the different toys and textures of her surroundings. It’s bittersweet watching her just go around. I’m so proud of her independence, but at the same time, I want her to just sit and cuddle with me. I’m in awe of the little person she’s becoming.
I can’t wait to see what the next six months are going to bring.
Earlier this month, I went on a play date. It was great. My girls had little ones their age to play and mingle with.
While I was sitting around with the other mommies with babies, it came to feeding time.
Mommies left and right of me starting busting out the boobies.
A little piece of me felt a little jealousy towards the breastfeeding moms.
I wish I could just bust out the boob. I wouldn’t have to carry around an extra bag with bottles, liners, water and formula.
Oh the convenience!!
It made me wish my body cooperated better. I did what I could, for both my girls, to try to produce more. My breasts just didn’t cooperate. I guess it happens to some women, me included.
When picturing motherhood, I always thought I’d be breastfeeding for at least 6months to a year. All my cousins were great producers of milk. I thought I would be too.
My daughters thrived on formula. K is growing leaps and bounds on formula. I have no complaints.
Seeing others so easily breastfeed does spark a bit of disappointment in myself and a little jealousy.
But, I know I’m doing the best for my children. And I’m definitely not the only mother that has gone through this and has had these same feelings.
When my girls were born, I would often look at them and wonder…
What will they look like when they have hair?
What will they look like when they have teeth?
What will their voices sound like?
What will they look like when they are school aged?
What will they look like when they get to high school?
What kind of adults will they become?
Yes.. I wonder about their futures. I wonder about what kind of relationship my girls will have with each other. I wonder about what kind of clothing style they will have as they get older. I wonder about what kind of significant other they will have. I wonder about who they will settle with and if they will give me grandchildren. Then, I start to wonder about what kind of grandchildren I will have..
It goes on and on and on…
I’m excited for the future, but I’m loving the present so much. Time flies so fast so I’m making sure I will cherish every single moment I have with them now. Eventually, all my questions will be answered.
K turned four months last week.
Can you believe it? FOUR MONTHS!
It seems like only yesterday that she was a newborn. Now, she’s four months old.
I feel like four months is the turning point in the baby’s life. I felt it with M and I feel it with K.
At four months, it’s like they shed any ounce of “newborn” they had left in them and came out a full fledged baby.
At four months, the world is suddenly much more interesting. They both became very aware of their surroundings and both became very easily distracted by any noise or commotion that is within ear and eye shot.
At four months, they both became much more interactive. They both craved to hold conversations with whoever would engage them.
At four months, their cries changed from that signature newborn cry into their own individual baby cry.
At four months, they changed from happy newborns to happy babies. I love it!
It’s been a whirlwind of time since K was born and here we are at four months. K is turning from back to tummy and she LOVES trying to stand when we hold her. She’s started eating rice cereal twice a day and is drinking her formula like no one’s business. She smiles at almost anything and everything. She is curious. She is alert. She is nosy.
She LOVES her big sister and will often follow her with her eyes where ever M goes in the room. She thinks M is the ultimate source of entertainment and laughs at almost everything M does.
I loved when M turned four months old because it felt like such a big change in her life. I’m also loving K at four months old.
I can’t wait to see what time has in store for my girls as they continue to grow. Thanking God for all these wonderful blessings!