Living life in the carpool lane..

Nodes.

Posted on: March 22, 2016

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When I was recently diagnosed with nodes on my vocal cords, the first thought that came to mind was the movie, Pitch Perfect.

When I told Hubby that I had nodes via text, I added a gif from Pitch Perfect about nodes.  He responded with “when you recover from surgery, will you be able to hit those super low notes?”

We couldn’t help but laugh at the situation.  But no, I do NOT want surgery.

My mother had nodes.  Her’s were beyond physical therapy and she needed surgery.  The recovery process required 2 weeks of not being able to talk.  No talking AT ALL!  She had to walk around with one of those magnet doodle boards just so she could tell us what to do.

Could you imagine me not being able to talk for two weeks with two little kids around?

There’s no way I could allow these nodes to get to the point of surgery.

By the Grace of God, I was able to catch them early.  The ENT physician’s assisant told me that my nodes were just forming and that with some speech therapy and working on changing some bad vocal habits, I’d be able to soften them up to get them to shrink again.

Although these nodes are at their very early stages, they have greatly affected my ability to sing.  My higher register is almost non-existent.  On bad days, I can barely even get my talking voice to work at a higher sound.  Singing at Church just gets so frustrating because I love to sing along, but sound so terrible as my voice cuts in and out.  Or there are times that I sound like I’m going through puberty.

It’s very frustrating and disheartening.

Talking all day can make my voice just feel so tired.  Being a home with a 4yo and a 1yo, I have to talk.

Now I need to learn how to talk again.  I need to learn how to redirect my voice so that it doesn’t put so much strain on my vocal cords.  It’s almost like I need to talk like I’m singing.  It’s hard to explain, but that’s almost how I feel like I need to talk.

I’ll be going to speech therapy for four sessions, one every other week.  I’ll be practicing what I learn at home and concentrating on changing my vocal habits.

I’ve discussed with M my condition.  I explained that I can’t talk over her as much as before and that we need to work together so that I don’t have to explain things to her over and over again.  She loves to cooperate when you tell her we are “working together” so she is understanding that she needs to listen to me the first time.

I’m always so used to talking loudly, or raising my voice, when I get upset and it’s a hard habit to break.  However, I know it’s important I follow doctor’s orders, so I’m making a conscious effort to not get so angry to the point that I raise my voice.

Eventually, I do hope to get my higher singing register back.  I do hope that I can get my vocal chords back into good shape.  I would love to sing for a Church choir again.  I would love to get more involved with Religious Education and teach again.  I would love to just have a normal voice again.

All in God’s time and I do hope that at my next ENT appointment, we will see some improvement

 

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2 Responses to "Nodes."

[…] day it rained.  I had a physical therapy appointment for my voice (I have nodes, click here) and decided to leave the girls with my mom.  Thank God she was in town!  It’s hard enough […]

[…] in my ears.  On top of that, M decides she wants to try out the bongo drums.  With nodes (click here), I’m not allowed to talk over loud noises.  So, I’m wrestling with K, trying to keep […]

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