Living life in the carpool lane..

Posts Tagged ‘high risk pregnancy

July 5th marks one year since one of the scariest moments of my life… That was the day that we all packed up to go to the beach, but ended up in the Emergency Room instead.  From that point on, my pregnancy was never the same.

You can read what happened by clicking here.

I still remember feeling how scary it was when I discovered I was bleeding.  I still remember bawling in the emergency room and unable to get any words out to talk to the people at the reception area.  I still remember how my heart sunk when the doctors told me that my hemorrhage was bigger than what they usually see in other patients.  I remember the punch in my gut when the doctors told me there was a 50/50 chance I could miscarry.

The stress of the next few days was unbearable.  Every little feeling I felt in regards to my pregnancy was magnified.  I was in constant fear that “this was it” and I was about to miscarry.

Thank God, I can look back and remember the fears and the worries  and know that, in the end, everything was fine.

K is here, healthy and happy, and I never want to forget all that we had to go through to have her.  She’s my miracle baby.  She’s my blessing.

I’m writing this way ahead of time, hoping that I will actually make it to this day… if anything changes, you’ll see it in a subsequent blog post…

If all goes well, I’m 36 weeks today!  It’s a big deal.  It means that I don’t have to be off my feet all the time.  I’m allowed to walk around more.  In fact, I’m encouraged to walk around more to start regaining some of the strength I’ve lost due to being off my feet for so long..

It also means I no longer have to do nightly progesterone dosages.  I’m so glad to finally be done with those!

But being on my feet again AND no more progesterone also means that this baby can literally come at any time…

My next doctor’s appointment is on Monday.. I hope I make it to then to see if I’m finally dialated…

Any moment now… I’m hoping that she can stay in until I hit 37 weeks, since at that point she won’t be considered a late preterm birth.. 38 weeks would be best.. who knows?

It’s getting super real and I’m getting super excited to finally see this little girl…

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False labor.

When I was pregnant with M, I had my share of Braxton Hicks, but I never had false labor.  When I was pregnant with M, my water broke at 36 weeks to our shock and surprise and before we knew it, we were parents.

But false labor?  Nope.  Never.

Until last week.

We were all in bed.  Then, it started.

It started out as Braxton Hicks, nothing out of the ordinary, just the normal tightening and discomfort.

But then, it kept coming.  One after another.

I did what was suggested of me to determine if it was truly preterm labor.  I went to the bathroom to empty my bladder, I drank a lot of water, and I lied on my left side.  Nothing was slowing it down, it felt like it was increasing everything.

I recently downloaded an app called “Full Term.”  It’s an app that helps keep track of contractions.  All you have to do is hit “start” when a contraction starts and “end” when it ends.  The app times it and calculates the frequency.

Because the tightening started coming in intervals, I decided to use the app to keep track.

The contractions were lasting for 50 seconds to a minute long and coming in ever 2 1/2 to 3 minutes.

As the tightening continued to come and go, the intensity started increasing.  It started getting harder to talk through.  I started using breathing techniques that we learned three years ago during our Lamaze classes we took when pregnant with M.

I decided that I needed to that the anti-contraction medicine I was given back in October when my cervix first shrunk.  I had been hesitant to take it because I hate taking any sort of medicine while pregnant.  However, the app was showing that I had at least 10 contractions within the past hour, so I had to take it.  I figured that if I didn’t take it and I went to the hospital, the doctors might give me something stronger to stop the contractions and I didn’t want that at all.

So I took the medicine and called Labor and Delivery to ask how long it would take the medicine to kick in and slow the contractions down.

By then, the contractions were hurting.  Not only were they hard to talk through, they were hard to breathe through because they were hurting.  I kept concentrating on the breathing exercises to try to calm myself down, but I was obviously very nervous.  Was this it?  Were we going in?  Were we going to have this baby at 34 weeks?

Labor and Delivery told me that it would take about half an hour for the medicine to kick in and to wait about an hour to determine if we needed to really come to the hospital or not.  So I got off the phone with them and continued to try to relax and concentrate on breathing, hoping the medicine could kick in soon.

Within half an hour, I noticed the intensity of the contractions were decreasing.  Then as the hour progressed, the contractions also started to space themselves farther apart and decreased into just a mere uncomfortable tightening.  By the time the hour passed, everything was done.

If I didn’t have that medicine, who knows what could have happened.

I’m hoping that the episode didn’t cause my cervix to dialate.  I’m hoping that I can still last the week and have this baby AFTER Christmas…

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Can you believe that in a little over two months, I’ll be a mother of two?

Well, it could be a sooner than two months given my history, but still.

In two months, give or take a few days, M will be a big sister.  I will be a mother of two girls.  My family will grow from three to a family of four.

It’s a little overwhelming to think about.  These two months will fly by so fast with the holidays being right in the middle of all of it.  Before we know it, the new year is here and we are anxiously waiting for this baby to arrive.

It feels like forever that we were trying to get pregnant.  It feels like forever that I was posting about the disappointment month after month of not being pregnant.  It feels like forever that I finally had the great news to share and all my posts started revolving about morning sickness.  It feels like forever that the chances of the baby’s survival were 50/50 due to the large bleed I experienced towards the end of the first trimester.  It feels like forever that I was thinking that the bleeding and spotting would just never end.

This pregnancy feels like forever, yet it feels like it’s zooming on by.

Maybe it’s because I’ve been out of work since July.  Maybe it’s because it’s been one scare after another.  Maybe it’s because the doctors appointments have been so frequent.  Maybe it’s because we’ve had to take this pregnancy week by week.  Maybe it’s because we’ve had to cherish every day that I’ve been pregnant and not in the emergency room or in Labor & Delivery.  Maybe it’s just because we are so anxious to meet this little girl already.

I’m hoping I make it two more months.  If I don’t and she wants to come early, I pray that this baby will come out late enough to be completely healthy, just like her older sister.

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Read about my subchrionic hemorrhage here.

After being on bedrest for about two months due to my bleed, I thought I was in the clear.  My monthly OB apppointments were showing that the hemorrhage turned into a clot and it was dissolving on it’s own.  While it was still present in my womb, it wasn’t bleeding.  The OB continued to keep me off work.

In September, my OB noted that the hemmorrhage/clot had completely resolved.  However, I was experiencing a lot of pressure whenever I would stand up for long periods at a time.  I would also feel a bit of cramping if I stood up or walked for too much.  My OB measured my cervix.  My cervical length was 5cm, which was very good.  My OB was confident that I was ok.  But because of the pressure, my OB was not comfortable with me returning to work, especially since I had to work in the lab again.

This was a minor setback.  I couldn’t be up on my feet for too long, but at least I was off bedrest and my life was sort of beginning to go back to normal.

Then in early October, I noticed a slight sign of a small bleed.  I called Labor & Delivery and I was told to go in right away.  Luckily, the bleed wasn’t anything serious.  However, they did notice that my cervix shrunk from 5ish cm to in the course of three weeks.  While my cervical length was still considered “normal,” the fact that it shrunk so much within the course of three weeks caused them some major concern.

I ended up staying at the hospital overnight.  My first night away from M.  My first night away from my family.  I couldn’t sleep a wink.

I was monitored for contractions the whole night and in the morning, they checked my cervix again.  Thankfully, nothing happened during the night.  I was sent home with orders of modified bedrest, nightly progesterone dosages, and now doctors appointments with the high risk OB weekly.  I was also sent home with some anti-contraction medication that I am to take on an as needed basis.  At the time of writing this post, I’ve only had to take it twice.

The first of the weekly appointments showed that my cervix shrunk again.  Nothing too drastic, but I was now at about 2.7ish cm from 3cm prior.  I got put on more restricted bedrest, with an application for a disability parking placard and a referral for a wheelchair to allow me some fresh air.

And now.. we are here.  I’ve had another appointment with the high risk OB that showed my cervix didn’t move from the last week.  But they still want me to remain off my feet as much as possible.

This was definitely not what I had in mind when I was wanting to get pregnant again.  But I’m very thankful for all the doctors for helping me do everything I can to keep this baby in me.

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Yesterday, I finally started blogging again after a good month off. A lot of it had to do with the pregnancy emergency I had at the beginning of July.

After it happened, I felt depressed. I felt helpless. I felt sad. I was scared something could happen to the baby. I was sad that I was confined to the couch or bed all day. I was frustrated that I couldn’t take care of M like I’m supposed to. I was mad at myself for having these issues. I was worried. Most of all, I was guilty for not being the proper mother I needed to be for M.

I was just a bundle if a wide range of emotions. I wanted to blog. I needed the outlet for everything I was feeling. I just couldn’t get the words out. I couldn’t figure out to say everything I was feeling.

I needed to take the time to really sort everything out. I was a roller coaster of feelings. I would cry for the smallest reasons. I would get angry over insignificant things. It was probably hormones on top of everything else, but I needed to get control of it again.

I focused on M. She needed me to be the mommy she needs. True, I couldn’t chase after her, or carry her. But she still needed me. I focused on taking care of her to the best of my abilities.

Slowly, I’ve been pulling myself out of the funk. I still have episodes of helplessness. I still cry. But I know it won’t go away completely, especially with all the pregnancy hormones.

I’m better now. I’ve accepted that this is my life right now.

I’ve sorted things out emotionally and I feel like I can write again.

I apologize for suddenly abandoning the blog without any notice. I thank you all for your patience and hope you continue reading.

On July 5th, we were on our way to the beach.

I was buying food for our beach day when I first felt that first little bubble of fluid. I didn’t think it was significant, so I didn’t say anything. About 10 minutes later, I felt another bubble of fluid. That second bubble felt bigger than the first so I said something. My mother told me to look at what it was.

It was blood.

So instead of going to the beach that morning, the entire family spent the day at the emergency room.

Ultrasounds and blood tests showed us that the baby was fine. My hormone levels are fine. Everything was fine.

What caused the bleed was a pocket of blood found between my uterine wall and the sac that the baby is living in. They call this a subchrionic hemmorage.

Fortunately, it’s a pretty common occurrence and can hopefully resolve itself over time.

Unfortunately for me, my hemmorage is on the large side. When they first found it, the hemmorage was about 6cm long. The doctors suspect the bleeding and spotting would continue for some time.

Since then, I have been on modified bedrest. I’m allowed to stand up and walk to the bathroom. I’m allowed to stand up long enough to cook as long as the spotting is minimal. If the spotting gets heavier, I need to refrain from being on my feet.

Because of this, I’ve been off of work. My inlaws watch M and I during the day whole Hubby works.

I am also now considered a high risk pregnancy and see the doctor every 3 weeks.

I am now in my second trimester. I have about six months of pregnancy to go.

Who knew this pregnancy was going to be so challenging??

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July 2020