Why I took a blogging break
Posted August 2, 2014on:
Yesterday, I finally started blogging again after a good month off. A lot of it had to do with the pregnancy emergency I had at the beginning of July.
After it happened, I felt depressed. I felt helpless. I felt sad. I was scared something could happen to the baby. I was sad that I was confined to the couch or bed all day. I was frustrated that I couldn’t take care of M like I’m supposed to. I was mad at myself for having these issues. I was worried. Most of all, I was guilty for not being the proper mother I needed to be for M.
I was just a bundle if a wide range of emotions. I wanted to blog. I needed the outlet for everything I was feeling. I just couldn’t get the words out. I couldn’t figure out to say everything I was feeling.
I needed to take the time to really sort everything out. I was a roller coaster of feelings. I would cry for the smallest reasons. I would get angry over insignificant things. It was probably hormones on top of everything else, but I needed to get control of it again.
I focused on M. She needed me to be the mommy she needs. True, I couldn’t chase after her, or carry her. But she still needed me. I focused on taking care of her to the best of my abilities.
Slowly, I’ve been pulling myself out of the funk. I still have episodes of helplessness. I still cry. But I know it won’t go away completely, especially with all the pregnancy hormones.
I’m better now. I’ve accepted that this is my life right now.
I’ve sorted things out emotionally and I feel like I can write again.
I apologize for suddenly abandoning the blog without any notice. I thank you all for your patience and hope you continue reading.