Living life in the carpool lane..

Posts Tagged ‘bedrest


It’s not easy.

It sounds good.  Lying or siting around all day.  No cleaning.  No cooking.  No excessively being on my feet.  People helping me out.  People doing all the things I can do for me.  People pushing me around in a wheelchair so I don’t have to walk when we go out and run errands.

Sounds good.

But in reality, it’s very difficult.

I have a system.  I have things that I do my own particular way.  I’m not the type of person that usually asks for help.  I like to do things myself, especially if I have to sit and explain how to do things.  I’d just rather take the reigns and do it myself.

Control freak?  Maybe.  No, not maybe.  I’m definitely a control freak.  There’s no shame in it.  I do things how I do things and I know how to get things done.

So now that I can’t do them, it kinda drives me nuts.

I love going out, even it’s just to the grocery store or to Target.  It’s my way of getting fresh air, but it’s so hard to maneuver a wheelchair everywhere.  I feel like I’m always in someone’s way.  But going out is the only way I maintain my sanity from being indoors all day.

What kills me the most about this bedrest thing is that I can’t be the fully functional mother M needs to be.

While I can get up occasionally to take her to the potty, I can’t get up to play with her.  There are certain physical activities I can’t do with her that we used to do.  I try to find ways to play with her that involve just sitting down, but it’s hard when she’s so active.

I can’t carry her.  So when it comes to comforting her, it can be hard sometimes.  If she’s crying because she got hurt, I have to literally walk her to a couch or chair, then tell her to climb onto my lap WHILE she’s crying.  It’s so sad because my maternal instinct is to pick her up immediately and hold her close.

In the grand scheme of things, this is only going to last about 6 more weeks.  If all goes well, my OB is going to lift some of the bedrest restrictions when I hit 34 weeks.  I’m so grateful for the doctors trying their best to keep this baby in me for as long as possible and I’m so grateful for all the people that are going out of their way to help us out during this time of our lives.

I don’t want to come out sounding ungrateful, because I’m so thankful to be blessed with wonderful family that have been helping us out.  It’s just not an easy time for me and I just need this outlet to let out some of my frustrations.

I’m counting down to 34 weeks.  Baby and I can make it.

If this was God’s way to teach me patience, well, LESSON LEARNED!

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When I was thinking about getting pregnant again, I swore to myself that I wasn’t going to gain as much weight as I did when I was pregnant with M.

When I was pregnant with M, I went from about 130lbs to 160+lbs, maybe even almost 170lbs!  I even had M a month early!

I didn’t eat the healthiest.  It was constantly chicken nuggets and french fries for a good part of the first trimester (that was the only thing my morning sickness could tolerate) and milk shakes during the third trimester (being pregnant in the summer I NEEDED it to keep cool).

I started out great in this pregnancy.  My belly popped out way sooner than the first time, but it wasn’t because I was eating chicken nuggets and french fries all the time.  In fact, I didn’t even want chicken nuggets and french fries this time around.

I didn’t want junk food, but I wanted Asian food.  At first it was Korean Tofu Soup with Dumplings.  Then it was anything Filpino with warm white rice.  Then, it was Indian Food.

I wasn’t gaining excessive amounts of weight, I was happy that I was not following the same path as I was with my first pregnancy.

I was also walking more.  I was determined to stay active.

Then, I bled.

I got put on bedrest for two months while the bleeding resolved itself.  When I got out of that two month bedrest, I was heavier than I anticipated.  I didn’t eat excessively, but the lack of activity did pack the pounds on.

When I got off the bedrest, I tried to walk a bit more.  I was having problems with too much pressure in my lower abdomen that I couldn’t implement an exercise plan, but I was being a “stay at home mom” and tending to M.  That was enough activity for me to feel like I lost a bit of the bedrest weight gain.  I didn’t feel as bloated and I felt like I was back on track.

Then, I bled again and the doctors noticed my cervix shrank.

Back on bedrest I went, this time, slightly stricter bedrest than before.  This time, I have a wheelchair when I need to go places.  We have a handicap parking placard which allows us a closer parking space.  Staying off my feet is key in making sure my cervix won’t shrink too fast, too soon.

So now, at the beginning of my third trimester (29 weeks today), I’m heavy.

A few weeks ago, I entered the weight range I was in when I gave birth to M.  I still have a whole trimester to go!

I’ve been controlling my food intake, but I know a lot of the weight gain is also the baby’s weight gain, so I can’t be too selfish about this.

It’s just hard to see the numbers on the scale climb up and up.

It took me 2 1/2 years to lose the weight I gained with M, and I’m hoping that it won’t take me that long to lose the weight again.

I’m smarter this time around about how my body works and how I can lose weight, so when I’m ready (and you’ll know when), I can tackle it and get back to a comfortable weight again.

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Read about my subchrionic hemorrhage here.

After being on bedrest for about two months due to my bleed, I thought I was in the clear.  My monthly OB apppointments were showing that the hemorrhage turned into a clot and it was dissolving on it’s own.  While it was still present in my womb, it wasn’t bleeding.  The OB continued to keep me off work.

In September, my OB noted that the hemmorrhage/clot had completely resolved.  However, I was experiencing a lot of pressure whenever I would stand up for long periods at a time.  I would also feel a bit of cramping if I stood up or walked for too much.  My OB measured my cervix.  My cervical length was 5cm, which was very good.  My OB was confident that I was ok.  But because of the pressure, my OB was not comfortable with me returning to work, especially since I had to work in the lab again.

This was a minor setback.  I couldn’t be up on my feet for too long, but at least I was off bedrest and my life was sort of beginning to go back to normal.

Then in early October, I noticed a slight sign of a small bleed.  I called Labor & Delivery and I was told to go in right away.  Luckily, the bleed wasn’t anything serious.  However, they did notice that my cervix shrunk from 5ish cm to in the course of three weeks.  While my cervical length was still considered “normal,” the fact that it shrunk so much within the course of three weeks caused them some major concern.

I ended up staying at the hospital overnight.  My first night away from M.  My first night away from my family.  I couldn’t sleep a wink.

I was monitored for contractions the whole night and in the morning, they checked my cervix again.  Thankfully, nothing happened during the night.  I was sent home with orders of modified bedrest, nightly progesterone dosages, and now doctors appointments with the high risk OB weekly.  I was also sent home with some anti-contraction medication that I am to take on an as needed basis.  At the time of writing this post, I’ve only had to take it twice.

The first of the weekly appointments showed that my cervix shrunk again.  Nothing too drastic, but I was now at about 2.7ish cm from 3cm prior.  I got put on more restricted bedrest, with an application for a disability parking placard and a referral for a wheelchair to allow me some fresh air.

And now.. we are here.  I’ve had another appointment with the high risk OB that showed my cervix didn’t move from the last week.  But they still want me to remain off my feet as much as possible.

This was definitely not what I had in mind when I was wanting to get pregnant again.  But I’m very thankful for all the doctors for helping me do everything I can to keep this baby in me.

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May 2020