Living life in the carpool lane..

Posts Tagged ‘second pregnancy

The bottle of Tums is now on my night stand.  Every night, it seems like I’ve needed to take it because the minute I try to lie in bed, the acid seems to come back up.

Not fun.

Not something I experienced when pregnant with M either.

I try to lie down on two pillows.  It doesn’t help.

I try to slightly sit up in bed.  It doesn’t help.

The only thing that helps is Tums.  Chalky, icky Tums.

I’ll be 33 weeks tomorrow… this kid is really running out of room if she’s starting to push up my stomach contents..

Ah, the glamorous life of pregnancy…

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The harder it is to bend over, the more your first child will spill liquids and drop objects on the ground.

True story.

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Hubby asked me, despite everything that has been going on, if I still love being pregnant.  Here’s my answer:

I love being pregnant.  I love feeling the baby move around.  I love knowing that I’m not alone at the moment, that there is always someone with me, even when I’m up at night while all of you are asleep.  I love trying to figure out what body part is poking out of my tummy.  I love trying to figure out what kind of personality this little person in me is going to have based on her movements and how she interacts when I rub my belly.  I love imagining what she’s going to look like when she comes out. 

I don’t like the constant aches and pains.  I really don’t like the first trimester of constant nausea.  I really don’t like the third trimester of constant discomfort.  I don’t like that I waddle.  I don’t like that I gain too much weight during each pregnancy.  I don’t like that this pregnancy had way too many complications.  I don’t like being confined to a wheelchair when we go places.  I don’t like that I’m not allowed to do too much stuff.  I don’t like the sore abdomen muscles.  I don’t like the sore groin muscles.  I don’t like it has to hurt to give birth.  I don’t like the healing process after giving birth.  I don’t like, even though labor is practically a routine thing, that there is always a chance of complication.  I don’t like that I get so irritated so quickly when my hormones go all haywire. 

Hubby says that it seems that the dislikes outnumber the likes.

While it may seem so, the truth of the matter is, I really do love being pregnant and all those dislikes are nothing comparent to the feeling of holding my sweet newborn when all is said and done.

 

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When we found out we were pregnant, I contemplated whether or not we were going to have a baby shower.

This is my second child.  We have all the big ticket baby items, stroller, playpen, carseat, high chair.. etc.

We didn’t NEED anything new.

However, most of the other smaller items we have are for a girl.  If we were going to have a boy, we’d have to get a lot of new things in “boy.”

But then, we found out we were having a girl again, so I figured we didn’t need a shower at all anymore.

As the pregnancy progressed, we hit one scare after another.  From the bleed that left us with a 50/50 chance of miscarriage, to the bedrest and daily progesterone due to a suddenly shrinking cervix…

I felt compelled to celebrate the pregnancy and this new little one.

So, I agreed to an “unshower shower.”

It’s not a shower.  It’s a celebration.  It’s a celebration that the pregnancy has lasted this long and that despite the hardships, the baby has been completed unaffected.  By the grace of God, she’s been growing at a normal pace, and she moves around like she doesn’t have a care in the world.

I didn’t register anywhere and am not obligating anyone to get me a gift or diapers or anything.

I just want us to all get together to celebrate this pregnancy and all the hardships we’ve gone through during this journey.

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Can you believe that in a little over two months, I’ll be a mother of two?

Well, it could be a sooner than two months given my history, but still.

In two months, give or take a few days, M will be a big sister.  I will be a mother of two girls.  My family will grow from three to a family of four.

It’s a little overwhelming to think about.  These two months will fly by so fast with the holidays being right in the middle of all of it.  Before we know it, the new year is here and we are anxiously waiting for this baby to arrive.

It feels like forever that we were trying to get pregnant.  It feels like forever that I was posting about the disappointment month after month of not being pregnant.  It feels like forever that I finally had the great news to share and all my posts started revolving about morning sickness.  It feels like forever that the chances of the baby’s survival were 50/50 due to the large bleed I experienced towards the end of the first trimester.  It feels like forever that I was thinking that the bleeding and spotting would just never end.

This pregnancy feels like forever, yet it feels like it’s zooming on by.

Maybe it’s because I’ve been out of work since July.  Maybe it’s because it’s been one scare after another.  Maybe it’s because the doctors appointments have been so frequent.  Maybe it’s because we’ve had to take this pregnancy week by week.  Maybe it’s because we’ve had to cherish every day that I’ve been pregnant and not in the emergency room or in Labor & Delivery.  Maybe it’s just because we are so anxious to meet this little girl already.

I’m hoping I make it two more months.  If I don’t and she wants to come early, I pray that this baby will come out late enough to be completely healthy, just like her older sister.

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Bedrest.

It’s not easy.

It sounds good.  Lying or siting around all day.  No cleaning.  No cooking.  No excessively being on my feet.  People helping me out.  People doing all the things I can do for me.  People pushing me around in a wheelchair so I don’t have to walk when we go out and run errands.

Sounds good.

But in reality, it’s very difficult.

I have a system.  I have things that I do my own particular way.  I’m not the type of person that usually asks for help.  I like to do things myself, especially if I have to sit and explain how to do things.  I’d just rather take the reigns and do it myself.

Control freak?  Maybe.  No, not maybe.  I’m definitely a control freak.  There’s no shame in it.  I do things how I do things and I know how to get things done.

So now that I can’t do them, it kinda drives me nuts.

I love going out, even it’s just to the grocery store or to Target.  It’s my way of getting fresh air, but it’s so hard to maneuver a wheelchair everywhere.  I feel like I’m always in someone’s way.  But going out is the only way I maintain my sanity from being indoors all day.

What kills me the most about this bedrest thing is that I can’t be the fully functional mother M needs to be.

While I can get up occasionally to take her to the potty, I can’t get up to play with her.  There are certain physical activities I can’t do with her that we used to do.  I try to find ways to play with her that involve just sitting down, but it’s hard when she’s so active.

I can’t carry her.  So when it comes to comforting her, it can be hard sometimes.  If she’s crying because she got hurt, I have to literally walk her to a couch or chair, then tell her to climb onto my lap WHILE she’s crying.  It’s so sad because my maternal instinct is to pick her up immediately and hold her close.

In the grand scheme of things, this is only going to last about 6 more weeks.  If all goes well, my OB is going to lift some of the bedrest restrictions when I hit 34 weeks.  I’m so grateful for the doctors trying their best to keep this baby in me for as long as possible and I’m so grateful for all the people that are going out of their way to help us out during this time of our lives.

I don’t want to come out sounding ungrateful, because I’m so thankful to be blessed with wonderful family that have been helping us out.  It’s just not an easy time for me and I just need this outlet to let out some of my frustrations.

I’m counting down to 34 weeks.  Baby and I can make it.

If this was God’s way to teach me patience, well, LESSON LEARNED!

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Untitled

There I am.

Today, I’m 29 weeks.  Third trimester.  Counting down to our new little girl’s arrival.

At our last appointment, the baby was bottom down, head up.  Not ready for birth.  This week, I feel like she’s transverse, but I will be having an ultrasound tomorrow so we will see what position she really is in.

I’m feeling VERY, VERY stretched.  I know that I’m still going to get bigger.  My ribs and abdomen muscles feel very sore.

This baby has found that little spot under my ribs that her big sister used to sneak into.  This baby may not be big enough to stick herself into that spot yet, but I feel like she’s definitely found it.  She LOVES to hang out on my right side, just like her older sister.  M really made a nice niche for this new baby to reside in inside me.  It feels exactly like it did when M was in there.

I don’t stand up too often, but I definitely feel every ounce of the baby when I do.  Walking is difficult.  I don’t know if it’s because of the bedrest, or because of the nerve compression, or the baby weight, or all of the above.

She keeps me up all night.  She’s super active in my belly from about 11pm to 3:30am.  While everyone else is fast asleep, I’m wide awake with a baby kicking up a storm inside me.  She is not a fan of the wedge pillow I use to lie on my side and have some belly support.  If I lie on it too soon into the night, she kicks at it until I turn to my back.

She’s not a fan of things that constrict her.  Many times she’s kicked baby monitors that were strapped onto my belly and then hid so the nurse had to go searching for her again.  She is not a fan of the full-panel maternity pants.  When M sits on my lap, the baby constantly is kicking at her until M just decides to get off.  She doesn’t like when I lean forward.  She doesn’t like when I twist a bit to reach for something.  She’s very particular about being comfortable.

It’s like I can almost sense her personality already.

While I can’t wait to meet this little lady, I’m very thankful for every week that goes by and I’m still pregnant.  I’m hoping that she makes it to after Christmas.  I just want her to be born at a healthy age. I’m in the final stretch.  I can’t believe we’re almost done!

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