Living life in the carpool lane..

Posts Tagged ‘mother of two

Read about my ABC blog series here.

Look back – A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L , M, N, O, P, Q, R

I’ve been home since July of last year when I was suddenly put on bedrest due to my subchrionic hemmorhage early in my pregnancy.

Now that I have the baby, the big question is whether or not I’m going to go back to work.

It’s been a subject that we have been discussing for awhile.

I’ve been away from work for about 8 months now.  It seems almost normal being a “stay at home mom.”

M has thrived so much since I started staying home.  Even if I was under limited capacity, M seemed to just love that I am around 24/7.

I can’t imagine going back anymore.  It just seems…. mean.

I hated being a working mom… I felt like I was just a part-time mom.  I missed out on a lot of the daytime with her, only seeing in the late afternoon and evening for dinner and bedtime.. It didn’t seem fair to her.  It didn’t seem fair to me.  I wanted to parent her, not anyone else.

I also couldn’t balance life.  Cooking, cleaning, laundry, parenting.. I couldn’t find the right balance.  Everything was a mess because all I wanted to do was be with M.

(Ok.. so things are STILL a mess around here.. but that’s because I have a newborn and I’m still figuring things out… the excuses just never end, do they?)

Millions of mothers CAN do the working mom thing and do it successfully.  I just felt like I couldn’t.  I felt chaotic.  I felt like I had no control.

Once I stayed home, it’s like my world suddenly made sense.  Ok, so I was on bedrest.  Ok, so I was very limited with what I could and could do.  Ok, so staying at home during my pregnancy seemed… easy.

Now, I’m staying at home with two kids.  It’s hectic.  It’s chaotic.  Sometimes I don’t shower.  Sometimes I forget to brush my teeth.  My hair is constantly a mess.  I wear the same clothes for several days until they smell so much like baby spit-up that I HAVE to change.  I have NO time to myself.  The only adults I talk to are Hubby and my parents.

Staying home seems so much harder than working…

But I want to stay… I want to stay home.

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Read about my ABC blog series here.

Look back – A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L , M, N

When Hubby is home, it seems like I have everything under control.  Sure, K is crying.  Sure, M wants to go the potty.  But I have everything under control.  It’s like I have a system.

When Hubby is at work, it’s like the girls know I’m outnumbered.

Suddenly, K has a poopy diaper and the same time that M suddenly needs to go potty for the same reasons.

Suddenly, K is feeding and M wants a glass of water, or some yogurt, or something that she needs me to get up for.

Suddenly, I get some down time to cuddle with M, and K suddenly cries with the need to be picked up.

Outnumbered.  It’s like they know…

It’s like they have a plan to just spread me as thin as I have ever been spread before..

Honestly, I can handle running four or five different lab tests at work at the same time better than figuring out how to parent these two girls…

As difficult as I make it seem, I will never, ever, ever trade it for the world.  I’m exhausted.  I’m worn out.  My mind sometimes doesn’t work properly… But I’m loving every second of it.

(Don’t forget to click these badges to rate my blog and vote for me. All you need to do is click!)

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Read about my ABC blog series here.

Look back – A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L

Finding some “me time” is currently impossible.

The only “me time” I can get is when I take a shower, and finding time for THAT is close to impossible.

Am I complaining?  Maybe a little.

When it was just M, it was easy.  She could go to me, then she could go to Hubby, and then I’d get some time for myself.  I could craft, blog, watch some TV, do what I needed to do to refresh.

Now that we have two kids, when K spends some time with Hubby, I need to make up for the time I couldn’t spend with M because I had been so preoccupied with K.  You see where I’m going?

I know that we just started this whole “two kid” parenting thing.. and K is still really young and still really dependent.

I feel like I just got so used to M being so much older.  I forgot how it was when M was young and completely dependent on me.  I know that I hardly had any time for myself back then, as well.

I know we are all still adjusting… but I do miss those moments I get to myself just for a little refresher…

I know that day will come soon…

(Don’t forget to click these badges to rate my blog and vote for me. All you need to do is click!)

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