Living life in the carpool lane..

Posts Tagged ‘growing up

M starts preschool this week.

I’ve been trying so hard to avoid thinking about it, but I’ve got a parent meeting/orientation with the teacher tomorrow, so there is really no avoiding it.

I just can’t believe that my little girl is old enough for school.

Watching all the little babies around me, I’ve always felt that once the kid starts school, time flies at this crazy speed and before you know it, they are grown up.  I’ve seen it happen so many times before.

I don’t feel like I’m ready to accept that my little M is growing up.

I mean, I’m very happy for her.  I’m happy that she’s growing up.  I’m happy that she’s getting these opportunities to learn and grow. I’m happy to watch her blossom.

I just don’t want to let go of the “baby” in her.  I don’t want to let go of the “little” in her.

She looks up to me.  She seeks me out for cuddles.  She loves me and it shows.

As she gets older, things will change.  Hormones will take over.  We’ll fight.  We’ll disagree.  The hugs and the cuddles will slowly disappear.  She won’t be that little girl that calls me her ‘best friend.’  She won’t be that little girl that will just cover my face in sloppy kisses.  Those sloppy kisses will turn into hurried pecks on the cheek.  I’ll embarrass her.  Instead of hearing her sweet voice calling me “mommy,”  I’ll get exasperated and annoyed “mom!”

I’m not ready for that.

I’m not ready to let go of my baby.

I just feel like starting school is like opening the door to all these changes.

I’m just not ready.

Having a three year old is definitely an endless source of entertainment… thank God for my planner (click here), I can record all the fun memories and things M says that make me laugh.  Sometimes I can’t believe that M’s vocabulary is THAT complex and that she can say the things she actually says.  Sometimes, I wonder where she gets it… Every time, I’m amused.

“You don’t have to feed me, I’ll feed myself.  I’m not a baby anymore.”

Ok, so this time, what she said didn’t make me laugh.  It actually made me cry.  Tears of joy, tears of sadness, just tears.

Tears of joy because it made me realize how much she’s grown up.  Tears of sadness because it made me realize how much she’s grown up.

I’m actually very proud of her.  She’s learning independence.  I just feel like I blinked and she turned into a kid….


You can read their first status report, here.

We’re six months into their lives as sisters and I have to say that their time together just gets better and better.

Yes, I know that there will come a point in their lives when the fighting will start, but I’m going to revel in their joy and harmony and cherish every second of their happiness together.

With K sitting and crawling, it’s easier for them to do things together now.  It’s fun to watch them play with the same toys.

I love watching K observe how M handles and plays with certain toys and objects.  I feel like K is learning so much from all simple acts of playing together.


K still adores M.  K is always full of smiles when M is around and giving her attention.  The hardest we’ve ever witnessed K laugh was due to M’s silly dancing.  Just watching how K looks at M, I know that she is going to look up to her sister in every way.

M still loves K.  “I love my little sister,” is often heard coming out of M’s mouth.  M loves K’s fuzzy hair.  M loves hugging and kissing her little sister.  M loves having K lie down next to her.  M is very patient when K begins to climb all over her, or when K decides to pull on her hair.  M doesn’t fight back.  M just lets it all happen.  She’s such a good big sister.

I’m hoping that these feelings they have toward each other continue to grow.  I hope it never changes, even through all the fighting and disagreements they will encounter growing up, I hope the remember how much they adore and love each other.

Hope you all have a fun and safe Fourth of July holiday.  We will be celebrating with family and I hope to have a blog update on our holiday next week!

When my girls were born, I would often look at them and wonder…

What will they look like when they have hair?

What will they look like when they have teeth?

What will their voices sound like?

What will they look like when they are school aged?

What will they look like when they get to high school?

What kind of adults will they become? 

Yes.. I wonder about their futures.  I wonder about what kind of relationship my girls will have with each other.  I wonder about what kind of clothing style they will have as they get older.  I wonder about what kind of significant other they will have.  I wonder about who they will settle with and if they will give me grandchildren.  Then, I start to wonder about what kind of grandchildren I will have..

It goes on and on and on…

I’m excited for the future, but I’m loving the present so much.  Time flies so fast so I’m making sure I will cherish every single moment I have with them now.  Eventually, all my questions will be answered.

The other day, M was eating a banana with Hubby.  Hubby had to tend to something, so he put the rest of the banana in the kitchen counter and told her that if she wanted more she could ask me and I would help her.

About 15 minutes later, we notice that M was holding on to her banana and just eating away..

She grabbed the banana herself and just continued eating it.. like a big girl.

I lost it.  I started crying.  It’s definitely not “hormones” in the sense that you are all thinking.. no I’m not pregnant.  I’m just so super sentimental.

Sometimes I forget how independent M can be at almost two and a half years old.  I forget that she doesn’t need me for every little thing anymore.  She’s learning how to fend for herself and she’s learning how to be independent.  It’s part of her growing process and I should be so happy for her development.  She’s grown so much in these past two and a half years, from being completely helpless to grabbing her own bananas off the kitchen counter.

Yes.  I cried.  I cried tears of happiness, nostalgia, and love.  Those are what I call the tears of a mom..

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July 2020