Living life in the carpool lane..

Posts Tagged ‘feelings

The paranoia begins..

A few days ago, I text Joe “Hun, you better show up to the wedding.”

I’m getting the sudden irrational fears that he won’t show up.

I know he loves me.. he wouldn’t have asked to marry him otherwise.. but sometimes I freak out that my “bridezilla” behavior may have turned him off to the prospect of spending the rest of his life with me..

But then again.. I really haven’t been THAT bad lately.. or have I?

Anyway.. he keeps telling me that I have nothing to worry about.. and that he will definitely show up..

Well.. with the amount of money that we are spending.. he better show up!


There are certain songs that you can hear.. and know they just make you feel good.. I was thinking of some this morning as I woke suffering with “a case of the mondays..”  You know.. Office Space.. love that movie..

Nothing particular really came to mind until I came into work.. when all of a sudden Jason Mraz’s “I’m Yours” starting playing in loop over and over in my head..

There it is.. my cheesy feel good song of the day.. maybe it has a lot to do with the fact that yesterday marks the one year anniversary of… meeting my boyfriend.. and watching Norbit.. lol.. stupid movie!

Anyway.. here are the lyrics.. and I hope that it makes you “cheesy feel good” as well..

Well you’ve done done me and you bet I felt it
I tried to be chill but you’re so hot that I melted
I fell right through the cracks
and now I’m trying to get back
Before the cool done run out
I’ll be giving it my bestest
Nothing’s going to stop me but divine intervention
I reckon its again my turn to win some or learn some

I won’t hesitate no more, no more
It cannot wait, I’m yours

Well open up your mind and see like me
Open up your plans and damn you’re free
Look into your heart and you’ll find love love love
Listen to the music of the moment, people dance and sing we’re just one big family
It’s our God-forsaken right to be loved love loved love love

So I won’t hesitate no more, no more
It cannot wait I’m sure
There’s no need to complicate
Our time is short
This is our fate, I’m yours

Do you want to, come on, scootch over closer dear
And I will nibble your ear

I’ve been spending way too long checking my tongue in the mirror
And bending over backwards just to try to see it clearer
But my breath fogged up the glass
And so I drew a new face and I laughed
I guess what I’ll be saying is there ain’t no better reason
To rid yourself of vanity and just go with the seasons
It’s what we aim to do
Our name is our virtue

I won’t hesitate no more, no more
It cannot wait I’m sure
There’s no need to complicate
Our time is short
This is our fate, I’m yours

Well open up your mind and see like me
Open up your plans and damn you’re free
Look into your heart and you’ll find that the sky is yours
so please don’t please don’t please don’t.
There’s no need to complicate
’cause our time is short
This oh this oh this is our fate I’m yours

Oh I’m yours

I won’t hesitate no more
Oh no more no more no more
It’s our God-forsaken right to be loved, I’m sure
Theres no need to complicate
Our time is short
This is our fate, I’m yours

No I won’t hesitate no more, no more
This cannot wait I’m sure
There’s no need to complicate
Our time is short
This is our fate, I’m yours, I’m yours

I’d like to take a moment to interupt the “Random Factoid” series.. you may see me do this once in awhile.. only because I probably found something interesting to blog about that needed immediate attention.

This is one of those instances.. well.. maybe it doesn’t need IMMEDIATE attention.. but it’s a nice change from the series..

So.. I forgot to make mention of how my high school reunion went.. and I’d like to do so now..

The venue was nice and small.. perfect size for the amount of people that had showed up.. which wasn’t many.. surprisingly..  I mean.. we had several hundred members of our graduating class.. and I think we only had a hundred.. if less.. show up.

It was interesting seeing all the people again.  I wasn’t one of the popular girls.  I wasn’t a cheerleader.  I wasn’t Homecoming Queen.  I wasn’t known by everyone.  I was just me.  I had my close set of girlfriends and we all still keep in touch.  It wasn’t like I was there to reconnect with people I lost touch with.. because the people that mattered the most were still in my life.

Everyone pretty much looked the same.  Ten years older.. and a little heavier.  I guess that’s what ten years does.. people get married.. they have babies.. and they settle.. that’s the way life goes..

I got to talk to some people that actually remembered me.. even though I had no clue who they were.. it was nice to know  that I was actually remembered.. so that was nice.

Overall.. it was an interesting experience.. it made me feel good about myself and how much I have accomplished over the years.. and selfishly..  I was really glad I hadn’t gained as much weight as most of the class did.. but that’s just me and my fear of weight gain.. which we will get to when I continue to chug down the trail of my blog series.. “Random Factoid..”

How’s that for a plug?!?!

OT just left the house.  It’s rainy outside and so I’m hoping he has a very safe drive back to SD where he lives.  It’s an hour and a half away from me.. so I should be hoping to expect a text or something from him by 4:30-5:00ish..

Anyway.. it’s time to recap the festivities from our “First Valentine’s Day Weekend Extravaganza!!!”

He got to my house around noonish.. we went grocery shopping at the Asian food store by my work.. we had lunch at the pho restaurant by the Asian food store by my work.  I also had to bake some red velvet cakes for mom’s outing… make other stuff.  After my parents left for their outting.. OT and I got started on our dinner.. we made Sinigang (my most favoritest food.. ever!).  We also went to Mass.  It’s nice being able to have someone I can fully share my Catholic faith with.  We ate dinner.. and then sat around the house watching movies on TV.. I think we were able to finish “A Walk To Remember” and “The Princess Bride..”

We woke up and got ready for my “surprise date!”  He told me a few days before that he had something planned for us on Sunday but it was a surprise.  I was to wear some casual clothes and then bring something nice to change into.  It so happened that we spend the first part of the day at Disneyland.  He then told me that dinner was going to be at The House Of Blues.. in Downtown Disney.  We had a blast at Disneyland.  It marks off Visit One for the year.  If you recall, I mentioned I wanted to go to the parks at least five times.. I got four more to go.  We get to the parking structure to change and then all of a sudden we’re in the car driving off somewhere.  He then tells me, “oh.. we aren’t going to House of Blues..” but he wouldn’t tell me where.. he just kept saying that we were gonna go where ever his GPS tells him to go.. We end up at the Flemming’s Steakhouse in Newport Beach.. So sweet..

Just a lazy day at home.. watching TV and getting some homework done..

I had a great weekend and really enjoyed myself.. He really is a great guy and I am very blessed to have him around.  He makes me happy and I hope I do the same for him.

I won’t be seeing him for about three weeks now.. it makes me sad.. but we’re always connected through our phones and  computers anyway..

I really had fun and if he reads this blog.. thank you, thank you, thank you.. you’re wonderful and the bestest!

I’ll try to load the pictures as soon as I finish my paper.. and then probably do a picture blog entry.. let’s hope I do it before the next Valentines day!

Growing up, we had a Chevrolet Celebrity (it was called something like that)  station wagon.  It was a tannish color.  It took us everywhere.

I remember being piled in there with a whole bunch of cousins while we took trips to various places.

It had one of those seats that faced the back, and I remember sitting in those seats on the long drive to San Francisco as a kid with my cousin.  We made so many friends with drivers along the way there.  That was fun.

I also remember piling in there with cousins as they all learned how to drive in that car.  We’d go to the local empty parking lot, and have fun as a cousin tried desperately to learn how to park amidst the screaming of kids and other cousins.

I remember sleeping in the back seat as my mom would go and pick up my dad from work at night when his truck would break down in the parking lot.

I remember sitting on the back edge of the station wagon as my very first boyfriend asked me to be his girlfriend one halloween night in 1996. 

I remember re-enacting that scene one year later for our one year anniversary.

So many memories.  We had that car from the time we moved into the house in 1984.  So many years.. so many memories.

After awhile it became my dad’s vehicle to work.  The air conditioning stopped working, the front drivers door stopped working, and my dad had to go through the passengers side to open the door. 

My high school graduation tassel hung from the rear view mirror after I graduated from high school.  My dad hung it there proudly. 

The station wagon is leaving the family tomorrow.  It’s going to be donated and the money will go to a cancer foundation. 

Over the years we have acquired so many cars, and we have come a long way since that old station wagon. 

I can look back and see how our house and our lives were when all we had was that one car.. how we handled life and how much we have grown in that house and as a family and how far we’ve moved on from the ‘station wagon’ days.

I’m sad to see it go.  It’s got so much sentimental value in our lives, but I know it’s due time and the cause is very good.

I’ll miss the old station wagon.. always there to show us where we came from and what we’ve accomplished.. but we’ve got the memories deeply implanted inside our minds and our hearts.

You served us well, “Britty..”

Valentine’s Day.

February 14th.

Now.. all the people that know me know that I’m not a big Valentine’s Day person.  My thing is that Valentine’s Day is just once a year.  Why do guys HAVE to be nice to their girlfriends/wives/etc only once a year?  Shouldn’t the “Valentine’s Day” spirit be something that is expressed all year long?

I also think that the one day that should be special between a couple is their ANNIVERSARY.  Not Valentine’s Day.

It’s meant to be a feast day for St. Valentine.

Anyway, it’s OT’s and mine’s first Valentine’s Day together.  I’m not really asking for anything at all.  I’m not really expecting to go anywhere or do anything at all.  The one thing I did want was for us to be together that day.

I don’t expect flowers, candy, a cute card, or any such gesture that day.  I mean, he’s more than welcome to do so, but it’s really not expected and I won’t be disappointed if he doesn’t do anything.  I’ll just be glad that he’s there with me.

Now, I’ll be disappointed and sad if he missed our anniversary.

Those are the days that are the most important to me when it comes to relationships.

So, I pretty much make it easy for the guys that I have dated in the past.  They usually seem to be pretty relieved when they find out my stance on V-day.

I’m just glad that I get to spend that day with a pretty cool guy this year.  Blessed.


That is the view from the elevator to our hotel room when we went to Las Vegas a few weeks ago.. I took that picture when we first walked down that hallway.  I didn’t realize how creepy it would look til this day..

Lots of things are going on this month.  Remember what I said about complacency?  Well.. it’s all going to change soon.

I’m going to be going to a conference for one week in Phoenix, Arizona.  This is the second time that I will be traveling by myself.  I actually like taking these little trips by myself.

I will be having an entire suite all to myself.  It will give me a lot of time to think about things and live my life according to what I want to do for that week.

I know it won’t be a very exciting week.  I’ll be doing homework most of the nights I will be there because I will have just started a class that week.  I won’t know anyone.. so I hope I make some friends that we can go out and have a good time for a night or two around the area.

I’ve never been to Arizona.  My cousin lives there but I don’t know how close she lives to Phoenix.  I’ll try to get a hold of her to see if she wants to swing by with her kids to say hi.

I’m excited to go.  This should be fun.  Take away my hum-drum complacency.. even if it’s just for a week..

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