Living life in the carpool lane..

Posts Tagged ‘faith

So.. the month of November is coming and going so fast..

I know I haven’t been around much to blog.. but there has been a lot to blog about..

To summarize.. we all know I started a job in September.. I left the job in October.. and am now waiting for the start date to a new job in November..

It’s actually a great testament to my trust in God.. and how I know He’s never given me anything I can’t handle.

I’ll expand more on the next few blog entries.. I feel that I should take my time and really explain what had been going on much more thoroughly than just one simple blog entry..

I’m looking forward to writing it all.. and I promise it won’t be a waste of time..

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Things are starting to unravel a little bit in the little perfect fabric that I’d like to call my life.. things need to get changed up.. and it was something totally unexpected.

Once again, God is shaking things up.. and I have two choices on how to deal with this:

  • I could pout.. whine.. and just really bitter about it all.. or..
  • I could take the opportunity to find ways to change it..

I take the second option!

Right now.. I see life as one big cross-stitch project.. and our God is our cross-stitcher..

There are times that you are stitching and stitching.. and suddenly.. you realize you need to make a change in the stitching that you had done a few rows back.. so you have to go back and unstitch all the rows you had already planned on being part of the final picture..

I consider what I’m currently going through an “unstitching” of my final project.. in order to improve the BIG PICTURE..

Sometimes.. you need to go back and undo a few rows in order to ensure that the final piece is absolutely perfect..

And.. I’m just going through a little unstitching in order  to make sure that my life will be the most perfect that it can be..

So.. this is only a test.. this is only temporary.. this is only a way for God to make sure I’m not too content with my life and the direction that it’s going.. that I should still strive for so much better.. that I should still work towards advancing and increasing goals.. that I shouldn’t sit too still… or my butt may go numb!

There are times in our lives that prayer and our faith in God are the only things that can keep us going..

I believe that all that I have achieved would not be possible if I didn’t trust in the Lord and pray for the success and guidance I have gotten from Him. 

There have been many times in my life that I have wondered why I was put here and what my purpose is.. and why I have been brought in the directions that I have been brought to..

There are many instances where I’ve questioned why I had to go through a certain ordeal.. or why I don’t have what others have.. or why other people seem to have the life that I’ve always wanted..

Why do they get to live the way I’ve wanted to live.. and they don’t go to Church ever week.. they don’t practice a religion.. they don’t have a strong faith in God.. why do they get the life that I want?

How is that even fair?

I’ve found myself questioning God over and over again about that..

But what I WANT.. may not necessarily be what I NEED.. what I want may be detrimental to my life.. or may steer me in the wrong direction in the long run.. in any case.. He knows what’s best.. even if it’s something I didn’t want.. He knows what I need..

I’m being looked out for.. and that’s the consolation I need to know that I am being taken care of.. that I am loved and that I am never going to be given something that I can’t handle..

So.. take some time out of your day.. thank God for all that He has given you.. a simple prayer of thanks.. because He really is just a prayer away..

There are certains things in my life that can be deemed “questionable..”

But I have learned over the years to just give it up to God and let him take care of things.. I trust that He knows what direction He’s leading me to.. and I trust that He knows what He is doing with me.

However, it’s not as easy as it seems.  Life seems to send twists and turns.  Once you get comfortable with one thing.. or you finally decide that maybe this is the path you are set out to walk on.. you get thrown off and you suddenly find yourself lost.. or at least jilted..

I’m sorta at that point right now.  For the past few weeks I had settled on what I thought was what I was meant to be.. to feel.. to have..

I wake up this morning sure of what I feel.. but not sure that I’m allowed to feel that way just yet..

It’s hard to explain without giving it all away.. which I really don’t want to do.. these are just thoughts in my head right now.. not ready to be materialized into actual actions..

I will say that I know how I should know.. and I do what I should do.. but as more time passes.. it just all becomes questionable.. I want what I want.. and I know what path I desire to follow.. but it seems like I’m being thrown off again.. or.. at least.. slowed down..

I needed something to break the momentum.. and it looks like I found it.. but did i really want it after all??

I’m not scared of change.. I’m not scared of what is to come.. I’m just scared that I will fail at it all.. I don’t want to be a failure in life..


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