Living life in the carpool lane..

Posts Tagged ‘crying

The other day, we were at her hair stylist.  It’s a place specifically for kids.  It has a waiting room that is just full of toys, that M LOVES! 

After her haircut, she wanted to play, but we had errands to run.  I compromised and told her she could play for about 10 minutes.  After the 10 minutes was up, I told M it was time to go. 

“No.  I play in toys.”

I walked toward her to hold her hand and guide her to the door and that’s when it all melted down. 

She pulled all her weight down to the floor and started to cry and beg to stay. 

I picked her up and she was bawling.  If anything, she should have been mad at me for taking her away from what she wanted.  Instead, she wrapped her arms around me and hugged me so tightly while crying her eyes out. 

I comforted her and explained to her that we couldn’t stay and she eventually calmed down. 

I mentioned to my mom that I’m so glad that she hasn’t learned how to get mad at ME for taking her away from the situation.  I told my mom that I was still glad that she was still innocent enough to come to me for comfort after I was the cause of her tears. 

I’m so happy that I’m not the bad guy.. yet.  I hope this doesn’t change for a long, long time..

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The other day, M was eating a banana with Hubby.  Hubby had to tend to something, so he put the rest of the banana in the kitchen counter and told her that if she wanted more she could ask me and I would help her.

About 15 minutes later, we notice that M was holding on to her banana and just eating away..

She grabbed the banana herself and just continued eating it.. like a big girl.

I lost it.  I started crying.  It’s definitely not “hormones” in the sense that you are all thinking.. no I’m not pregnant.  I’m just so super sentimental.

Sometimes I forget how independent M can be at almost two and a half years old.  I forget that she doesn’t need me for every little thing anymore.  She’s learning how to fend for herself and she’s learning how to be independent.  It’s part of her growing process and I should be so happy for her development.  She’s grown so much in these past two and a half years, from being completely helpless to grabbing her own bananas off the kitchen counter.

Yes.  I cried.  I cried tears of happiness, nostalgia, and love.  Those are what I call the tears of a mom..

A few days ago, we were at my in-laws house so I could do a load of laundry.  We have a washer/dryer at home, but for some reason only MY clothes seem to be eaten up by the washer that I no longer do my laundry in our apartment… long story, maybe for some other time.

Hubby’s parents went out for the night after I came by to relieve them of M-watching duties, so we had the house to ourselves.

I had the TV on for M.  It was The Mickey Mouse Clubhouse on Disney Jr.

So, Hubby and I went to deal with the laundry.

M didn’t like that.

She wanted me, so she cried.  She cried for me.  She wanted me to stay with her.  She wanted me to be next to her.

Me:  M, I can’t stay with you right now because I have to help Daddy.  You can always come with me and stay with me. 
M: (cries)
Me:  Do you want to be with Mimi?
M: Yes.
Me:  Do you want to watch TV?
M: Yes.
Me:  Then you have to make a choice.  You can always stay with me.. I will just be with daddy over in the laundry area.

The laundry area was pretty accessible from where the TV is located.  She was always within earshot.

Well. She chose the TV over me, which Hubby so happily likes to point out.  But she cried for me and cried for me.

I had to just let her cry.  The laundry had to be done, and she’s old enough for me to not necessarily have to drop everything I’m doing to tend to her cries.  The times when I would just leave Hubby to do all the heavy lifting are kind of gone now.  M is pretty self-sufficient.  She has to learn to handle things on her own while I have to learn to start to contribute more into our daily lives instead of depending on Hubby to take the brunt of it. (Side note:  So very blessed to have an awesome Hubby that does tend to take the brunt end of things… I do love him lots!)

After awhile, the cries subsided into almost meaningless “ahhhhs.”  Most parents know what I’m talking about.  The “ahhs” where they know they should be crying, but they just don’t feel like crying…

I told Hubby, “As long as I can hear her, I know she’s ok.”

The cries turned into occasional whines, so Hubby decided to take a peek at her.

She was lying on the ground, tummy side down, elbows up, watching TV.

She was absolutely fine. 

She was so ok about everything, that when I did return to the TV room, I walked right by her to sit on the couch and she didn’t even notice until I said something!

In the end, the point of the story is… she chose TV over ME! 

 

The events of The Elmo Adventure have been occuring every night since that first time.  But last night seemed to have reached its pinnacle point.

By 11:00pm, the whole family was in bed and M began to ask for Elmo and the potty.  By this point at night, she had already gone twice.  She had only pee’d on one of those visits.

I started to suspect that she only wanted to go there to play around and wash her hands and stall going to bed.  So I told her that Elmo and the potty was sleeping and she needed to sleep too.

She wasn’t having that at all.

She cried.. and cried.. and cried.. it was a tantrum cry, complete with the whole scream/cry/hyperventilation.. the works. 

It wasn’t a violent temper with kicking and flailing.  It was more like a “please let me go to the potty and wash my hands, I don’t understand why you won’t take me” kind of desperate cry. 

I didn’t lose my patience.  I stayed calm.  It’s easy for me to stay calm during these situtations because she really isn’t blatantly misbehaving.  I talked to her calmly.  I tried to sit her up, carry her and walk her around the room, or take her in the hallway to calm her down.  She still wasn’t having it.

Through her desperate cries I can make out the words potty, hands, Elmo and please.  She really wanted to go..

So a few things entered my mind:

Is she doing this because she really DOES have to go?  Is she just stalling?  What if she needs to go and I’m hindering her training?  Am I spoiling her if I take her there again?

By this point, she’s pretty much inconsolable.. poor thing.

So I took her to the potty, but I didn’t take her diaper off and didn’t sit her on the potty.  I just took her there and told her that Elmo and her potty needed to sleep and that she can say “good night” to it.  I thought if she got that sort of “closure,” that she would calm down. 

Nope.  She stood still despite her tears because she wanted me to take her diaper off to sit on the potty.

So, I did. 

She finally started to calm down a little bit and I thought our night was finally over.

Then she started getting hysterical again because she wanted to wash her hands. 

So I stood her up on the stool and turned the water on.  I ran her hands through the water and also washed her face because she was so full of tears.

She stopped crying hysterically, but because she cried so hard, it was difficult for her to stop completely.   She was still a worked up and tense.

I took her into our living room and sat her on the recliner.  She noticed her iPad and was beginning to work herself up again.  She was so upset.

So I decided to give her the iPad in the hopes of letting her have a few minutes of playtime to calm her down.  It was a rough time us to deal with all the crying, so I could imagine how rough it was on her.  It would be had to get to sleep after being worked up so hard, so I figure a little down time on the iPad would help.

Well, it did.

Within the first 5 minutes, I noticed a more relaxed M.  So I let her play for about 10 more minutes before I told her that it was time to sleep.  I was soooo nervous that the waterworks were going to begin again, but thankfully, they didn’t.

I gave her some milk and then she hugs my arm.  She falls asleep in an instant.

This all ended at 12:30am.

It was a pretty rough night, and I handled it the best way I could.  Thankfully, I didn’t lose my cool or get mad at her or the situation.  I think if my emotions rang high, things could have been so much worse. 

What would you have done in this situation?  What would you do to prevent something like this from happening again?  Is this “potty thing” of hers just a phase?  How do I get her to understand that she can’t just go and sit on the potty repeatedly before going to bed?  Do you really think she has to go, or it’s just a whim of hers right now?

I’d love some answers to these parenting questions!  Please leave them in the comments section!

In the seventeen months of M’s life, she’s been a good sleeper.  I’m treading lightly on my words so I don’t jinx myself from here on out.

Even as a newborn, she slept in 3 hour chunks.  She’d sleep for three hours, wake up to eat and get her diaper changed, then she’s sleep again.  Even when she was starting to wake up more, she always slept at night and stayed awake during the day.  By the time I got back to work, when she was 5 months old, she was only waking up once, and that was after a good 4-5 hours of sleep.

Thank God for that!

However, there are those rare moments when she’d get a night terror, or a bad dream, or be under the weather and just wake up in the middle of the night. 

Tuesday night was one of those nights.

She started the night with runny nose.  I knew this would only lead to a cold.  I’m praying so hard that it won’t end up in an ear infection!!!

We went to bed like any other night, but I knew deep down that this won’t be like any other night.  Call it “mothers intuition..”

At one o’clock, I can already feel M tossing and turning.. then the whining started..

Then, she woke up and tried to climb on me..

I thought she was hot because when the vaporizer is on, the room warms up.. so I take off her long sleeved top..

That didn’t work.

She started crying and asking to “go.” 

She just kept saying “go, go..” like she wanted to go somewhere.. then she asked for Dora, but I told her Dora was sleeping. 

That’s when it hit the fan..

She cried and cried. 

I had to take her out of the bedroom and calm her down on our recliner. 

She fell asleep on the recliner, but woke up again crying.. so I calmed her down and took her to the bed where she fell asleep again..

This went on several times within in the hour.

I finally laid her on top of me, which is hard because she’s 23lbs and that’s a weight on my chest..

Laying her on top of me calmed her down considerably.  She fell asleep and eventually moved herself off my chest and right into my arms.  She stayed there until I woke up to get ready for work.

Did I mention that I ended up oversleeping?!

I drank about three cups of coffee the next day..

I’m really hoping that she just had a bad dream, and that the runny nose didn’t have anything to do with it.

How do you handle those no-sleep kind of nights?

I can’t believe how fast time flies.. especially with a child..

Little M is officially 2 months old today and I don’t know how we got here.. didn’t I just take her home from the hospital as a newborn?

Now she’s a cooing, cuddly baby.. with an occasional smile that’s not contributed to gas.. she’s outgrown all her newborn clothes and fits into 3month sleepers and outfits.. her cries sometimes sound like whines.. and her eyes stare at me with the recognition that I’m her mother.. it’s the greatest feeling in the whole world when she looks at me knowing who I am.

She had her first set of immunizations last Tuesday and that was probably one of the saddest things I had to witness.  She cried sooo hard when the needle would enter her little thighs.. I have never seen her cry like that before and my heart was breaking because I didn’t want her to go through that much pain.  My consolation was that after the shots were done she literally stopped crying.. so that pain didn’t last long..

However.. going home and once that first dose of Tylenol wore off… the cries started again.  I felt so bad.. nothing I did until the medicine kicked in again helped her.  Luckily the pain in her thighs didn’t last long, but she did have slight fevers Tuesday and yesterday.  The fevers were only low-grade and she didnt’ seem like she didn’t feel good.  I was happy that was all it was.

At two months of motherhood, I’m still waking up twice a night.. depending on the time I sleep.. if I sleep late enough I really only wake up once.. so it’s kind of relative.  I’m getting used to waking up in the middle of the night, but I still need to nap at least once during the day..

I’m still working on losing weight.. it’s pretty hard to find the time to work out.  I only really “worked out” once.. yesterday.  Only yesterday.  I’m trying to watch what I eat, but since I’m still breastfeeding I can’t watch my quantities.. I weighed myself today and I’m still pretty much stuck at 158lbs.  I’m going to try to start walking around the apartment complex a little bit with her in the stroller.. I know every little bit helps.  I’m just trying to avoid buying a new set of clothes for my return to work.. that would be the worst shopping experience ever..

Two months of motherhood.. two of the best months of my life..

My boyfriend thinks I cry too easily. I just tell him I’m not a robot devoid of feelings.. like him. That usually shuts him up.

Ok.. so this random factoid seems a little harsh toward my lovely boyfriend.. I don’t think he’s totally devoid of feelings.. I just like giving him a hard time because he gives me such a hard time for showing too many feelings..

I am a crybaby.  I’ll admit it.  I find a reason to cry for almost every single movie I have seen.  Seriously.  I can’t help it.. the little things bring on the waterworks.  It seems the older I get.. the more sensitive I am to things.. the easier I tear up.. I can’t help it.. or can I?

Yes.. I can see how that can get annoying to other people.. especially to a guy that tries to constantly make me happy.. I could see how that could defeat his purpose of trying to make happy..

BUT… he loves me.. so he has to accept it..

As long as HE isn’t the reason for my tears.. does he really have a reason to be annoyed?!?


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