S – Stay at home mom
Posted February 20, 2015on:
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I’ve been home since July of last year when I was suddenly put on bedrest due to my subchrionic hemmorhage early in my pregnancy.
Now that I have the baby, the big question is whether or not I’m going to go back to work.
It’s been a subject that we have been discussing for awhile.
I’ve been away from work for about 8 months now. It seems almost normal being a “stay at home mom.”
M has thrived so much since I started staying home. Even if I was under limited capacity, M seemed to just love that I am around 24/7.
I can’t imagine going back anymore. It just seems…. mean.
I hated being a working mom… I felt like I was just a part-time mom. I missed out on a lot of the daytime with her, only seeing in the late afternoon and evening for dinner and bedtime.. It didn’t seem fair to her. It didn’t seem fair to me. I wanted to parent her, not anyone else.
I also couldn’t balance life. Cooking, cleaning, laundry, parenting.. I couldn’t find the right balance. Everything was a mess because all I wanted to do was be with M.
(Ok.. so things are STILL a mess around here.. but that’s because I have a newborn and I’m still figuring things out… the excuses just never end, do they?)
Millions of mothers CAN do the working mom thing and do it successfully. I just felt like I couldn’t. I felt chaotic. I felt like I had no control.
Once I stayed home, it’s like my world suddenly made sense. Ok, so I was on bedrest. Ok, so I was very limited with what I could and could do. Ok, so staying at home during my pregnancy seemed… easy.
Now, I’m staying at home with two kids. It’s hectic. It’s chaotic. Sometimes I don’t shower. Sometimes I forget to brush my teeth. My hair is constantly a mess. I wear the same clothes for several days until they smell so much like baby spit-up that I HAVE to change. I have NO time to myself. The only adults I talk to are Hubby and my parents.
Staying home seems so much harder than working…
But I want to stay… I want to stay home.
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