Living life in the carpool lane..

Archive for February 15th, 2015

Read about my ABC blog series here.

Look back – A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L ,M

When I was compiling my list of topics that corresponded to the letters of the alphabet, I picked nursing for N because I was going to write about my love/hate relationship with it.  I love nursing K, but I hated the way my breasts always felt so sore and heavy.

But now, as I type up this blog entry, it’s about how my nursing days are most likely numbered…

This was the similar scenario I dealt with when I had M.

Because K came early, 36 weeks, my milk didn’t come in fast enough and her preemie status meant that they were watching her initial weight loss like a hawk.  K was also developing jaundice and they wanted her milk intake to be enough for her to pee and poop enough to get rid of the jaundice fast.  Because of all these factors, I had to supplement my breast milk with formula.

All went well, her jaundice passed, and she eventually started relying solely on my milk for her nourishment.

When she turned a month old, I noticed that she would take both breasts and still seem unsatisfied.  I started supplementing again with an ounce or two and she would feel so much better.  I also noticed that my breasts wouldn’t “fill up” as quickly, no matter how much I pumped in between or how much I let her nurse.  I know the doctors and nurses would tell me that pumping and allowing her to nurse would trigger my breasts to produce more milk, but it just wasn’t the case with me.

More and more I found her less satisfied with drinking solely my milk.  More and more I found myself supplementing with more and more formula.

I tried eating oatmeal.  I tried drinking more water.  I tried leafy veggies that were on my list for increasing milk production.  I tried soups.

Nothing.  Nothing would increase my milk supply.  K was getting less and less satisfied.

Now, my milk is being used as the supplement and the formula is her main source of milk.  She’s a lot more satisfied.  She cries less.  She sleeps longer.

No matter how much I wanted to be her sole milk provider, I just don’t think my body was made for it.  I’m ok with that.  It happened with M when she was an infant.  I thought I could change it with K, but my physiology proved otherwise.

My nursing days are numbered.  I know it.  I know I’m going to miss it.

It was easy.  The night feedings were simple.  No one had to get up to make a bottle.

She is just starting to hug me as she nursed.  She was just starting to hold my breast like a huge bottle in her face.  The description might be crass, but believe me, it’s a cute thing to see.

I’m not giving up hope.  I’m going to continue to give her my milk, as little as it may seem to her.  Some milk from me is better than no milk from me.  I know I’m probably never going to produce enough for her to rely on completely again, but knowing that I can still give her something is good enough for me.

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