Posted April 16, 2014on:
We co-sleep with M. I am not ashamed. I just hate that I always feel like I have to justify it every time someone finds out about it. There is this particular look I get from people when the find out that M sleeps with us. It’s this look of, “oh you’re one of THOSE parents…” Yes. I’m one of THOSE.
Last week, I was talking with someone about how tired I was because M didn’t fall asleep until midnight and then decided to wake up at 4am.
Person: So she crawls out of her crib?
Me: Oh no. She sleeps with us.
Me: I love it. I totally works for us. We all sleep better. She’s my little cuddle buddy…
I proceeded to go on and on and on about how it’s probably my fault because I’m so attached.. blah blah blah.
I don’t know why I do that every time!
We co-sleep and I don’t have to explain myself.
Person: Aren’t you trying for another one?
Me: Yes, we find ways. She also has her toddler bed next to us. We have other rooms in our apartment.
More justifications spilled out of my mouth.
There are plenty of mothers I know that allow their child into their beds at night. It’s just not public knowlege. I don’t know why it’s looked down upon.
When M was first born, we tried to put her in the bassinet next to us. It just didn’t work. With the feedings every few hours, she was constantly back in our bed. When her feedings were less frequent, we still tried to have her in the bassinet next to us. I couldn’t sleep. M would get fussy. She would end up in our bed.
I finally made the decision to just keep her in the bed. We both were able to start sleeping through the night. Things just got comfortable and natural. It was what worked best for us.
Yes, two years later, she’s still in our bed. But I still don’t mind. There are nights when she does sleep in her toddler bed that is right next to ours. I also know that she’s only going to be this little once in her life. We’re still bonding. She still needs me. She still looks to me for comfort. She still smiles so big when she realizes I’m still there when she wakes up. I know that these moments are limited, I have to make the most of it.
Yes. We co-sleep. And from now on, I’m no longer going to justify it. It is what it is. That “look” I get isn’t going to intimidate me into trying to explain myself anymore.
Everyone has a different parenting style. Respect mine.