Living life in the carpool lane..

Old age settling in…

Posted on: October 8, 2013

Well, this post is supposed to be about my birthday coming and going.. but now I have to preface this about my old age kicking in..

That’s because I forgot to schedule a post for yesterday.

It could have been for a number of reasons..

I was busy..

I was distracted..

Or I was just ditsy enough to actually skip this day..

Or.. I could be getting old..

Who knows.. it happened.. and here we are.  I just didn’t want anyone thinking that something bad happened and that’s why there was no post yesterday.  The last blog absence I had was when M got sick.. I don’t want people thinking she got sick again.. because she isn’t.. THANK GOD..

Anyway… what was I planning on talking about?!

Oh.  My birthday.

I turned 33 on Friday, September 27th, the day after M’s febrile seizure.  I spent that whole day just being a “mommy nurse.”  M’s fevers were still pretty constant on that day, but the fever reducers were beginning to work so much better.

Hubby bought me tickets to a comedy club in downtown San Diego to see a fun little show for Saturday night.  Selfishly, I was really hoping M would be better so that we could go.  We bought tickets about two-three weeks before she got sick.  When she had her first fever, my heart sank.  It was sooo close to that birthday weekend, my first thought was “What about the weekend?!”

I know.. totally selfish right?

I used to pride myself in the fact that I was the totally selfless parent.. I wanted to be that “martyr mom” that would sacrifice all my personal wants and needs for the wants and needs for my children and family..

But there I was totally worried that I would miss out on my weekend of fun.

Does that make me a bad parent?  I don’t think so.  I just think it makes me human.

As the weekend approached, I was really starting to accept the fact that I might not be able to go.  I was sad, but I was accepting it.  A sick toddler is a grumpy toddler and a clingy toddler and I didn’t want to subject my parents to a grumpy toddler.

Luckily, for her, (and for me), she was responding so well to the fever reducer all day Friday.  Then, on Saturday, she only had a fever in the morning, and then a fever in the late afternoon.  It was like a sigh of relief.  It was like a gift from God.  Not only was I happy that she was starting to feel better, I was also happy that I was given the green light to go out!

So, hubby and I went out.

Ok, honestly, my mind wasn’t completely at the comedy show.. I did think of M a lot that night and rushed home as soon as it was over.  We were literally gone for about three hours.  We didn’t even get to really walk around downtown like we used to.  We also left at the latest we could and still get there on time.

That was my birthday.  It could have been better, but it also could have been worse.

I’m 33 now.   Let’s see what this year will have in store for me..

 

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