Living life in the carpool lane..

Hawaii 2013 Stories – Worst mom ever!

Posted on: September 12, 2013

With M starting to feel better, I can go back to sharing some of the stories that I had planned on writing about..

This one is a doozy.

We stayed in a condo while in Hawaii.  My parents had their own bedroom.  My little family had our own bedroom.  There was a living room with a simple coffee table in the middle.  The entire condo had tile floors.

M, being the typical toddler she is, was extremely curious about the entire place.

She ran around and explored ever corner that could be explored.

She explored so much she was having accident after accident.  If she wasn’t tripping on something, she was running into something else!

We hadn’t even gotten through the first day and M ended up tripping and hitting the side of her forehead onto the corner of the coffee table.  She cried and had a little bump.  We iced that bump as soon as we could and she was fine.  However, we decided to move the table into the back corner of the room where she didn’t really go into.

This wasn’t the worst of it.. so the next day….

The bed in our bedroom stood almost about 3 feet off the ground.  It’s about the same height as M is, which is about 33 inches tall.  As I mentioned before, the entire condo had tile floors. 

There was a little voice inside of me that urged me to surround the edges of the bed with pillows before going to bed.  I also found a foam sheet that I put on my side of the bed.

Earlier in the day, M had tripped on the foam sheet and hurt her little knees on the tile.  I ended up folding it over itself towards the head of the bed.  I didn’t open it up again that night, and it was a good thing too.

That night, we all went to bed.  M fell asleep in between Hubby and I.  During the middle of the night, M half-wakes up and she crawls over to my other side and snuggles up to me.  It’s something she does on a regular basis at home.  However, at home, she has a bed rail on the other side of her.

Half-awake myself, I knew that there was nothing on the other side to protect her so I held on to her tightly.  I was going to move her back to the middle of hubby and I after a few minutes to get her back into a deep sleep again.  I was going to wait because I know that if I tried to move her while half-asleep, she would just crawl back over to that other side again. 

In my head, I knew I had to move her.

But something happened because she and I must have fallen into a deeper sleep because the next thing I knew, my arms opened, and she rolled.

The second she rolled out of my arms I jumped up.

I saw her fall off the bed.

It was like slow motion.  I saw it all.  That image still haunts me every time I think about it.

She fell off the bed, landed on the foam sheet (which wasn’t very thick to begin with), and cried.  She cried like she’s never cried before.  Mainly from being scared and startled, and I’m sure also from the pain. 

Although I saw her fall and make contact with the ground, with the room being dim, I couldn’t tell what part of her landed first..

It was absolute commotion in the condo immediately after.  She was bawling, I started crying, everyone seemed hysterical.

I called the paramedics and they looked at her and said she was fine.  They asked me if she cried immediately and I said yes, that was a good sign.  They also said that the fact the was consolable was a good sign. 

We also ended up taking her into the emergency room, just in case.  We spent a few hours sleeping in one of the emergency room beds while they monitored her.

Thank God nothing was wrong and we were able to enjoy the rest of our vacation.

When we returned home from the emergency room, Hubby and I moved the mattress onto the floor of the living room and slept that way for the rest of the trip.

I felt awful.  Her falling off the bed was MY fault.  Had I stayed awake enough to move her, none of this would have happened.  If I just moved her back to the middle from the beginning, none of this would have happened.  I cried so hard because I knew that if something went wrong, it would have been my fault.

It’s my job to protect her from injury.  It’s my job to keep her safe from harm.  And there I was, holding her by the edge of a bed that was over a tiled floor.  My common sense should have kicked in from the start and I should have kept her in between Hubby and I, no matter how many times she’d crawl over me.  It was my job to keep her from falling like that.

For the next few days after that incident, everytime I closed my eyes, all I could see was M falling.  Every night, before bed, all I could see was her falling.  Even now, there are times I can just close my eyes and see her falling.

I thank God all the time that nothing major happened and that she is ok.  But I’m just so guilt-ridden over the entire incident.

I can’t have been the only mom that’s done this, right?!

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1 Response to "Hawaii 2013 Stories – Worst mom ever!"

[…] thought that her fall from last month was scary.   That was NOTHING compared to that […]

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