Living life in the carpool lane..

Archive for January 26th, 2009

There are certains things in my life that can be deemed “questionable..”

But I have learned over the years to just give it up to God and let him take care of things.. I trust that He knows what direction He’s leading me to.. and I trust that He knows what He is doing with me.

However, it’s not as easy as it seems.  Life seems to send twists and turns.  Once you get comfortable with one thing.. or you finally decide that maybe this is the path you are set out to walk on.. you get thrown off and you suddenly find yourself lost.. or at least jilted..

I’m sorta at that point right now.  For the past few weeks I had settled on what I thought was what I was meant to be.. to feel.. to have..

I wake up this morning sure of what I feel.. but not sure that I’m allowed to feel that way just yet..

It’s hard to explain without giving it all away.. which I really don’t want to do.. these are just thoughts in my head right now.. not ready to be materialized into actual actions..

I will say that I know how I should know.. and I do what I should do.. but as more time passes.. it just all becomes questionable.. I want what I want.. and I know what path I desire to follow.. but it seems like I’m being thrown off again.. or.. at least.. slowed down..

I needed something to break the momentum.. and it looks like I found it.. but did i really want it after all??

I’m not scared of change.. I’m not scared of what is to come.. I’m just scared that I will fail at it all.. I don’t want to be a failure in life..

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