I took the maximum amount of leave possible, even if that meant that I wasn’t going to be paid for the last month or so.. I wanted to make sure that I spent as much time with my Little M as possible before going to work..

There are some good and some bad aspects of doing that..

The good things are that I have been able to spend so much time with her.  I’ve seen her go through so much growth and development these past 5 months.  We’ve developed such a great mother-daughter bond and I cherish that very much.

The bad thing is that she’s getting older and she’s starting to recognize me more.  She’s starting to need me and looking for ME to make things better for her.  And I’m going to feel bad that she won’t see me for a good part of the day while I’m at work..

Sometimes I feel like I should have just taken the three months.. she would have been too young to realize what was really going on and would probably transition better.. At the same time, I’m sooo glad that I was able to take these five months and witness so many of her “firsts” so far..

But I can’t dwell on what I should or should not have done.  Overall, I’m glad I took the five months, and when we are pregnant with our next child, I plan on doing the same thing.

Now, with my days on maternity leave dwindling down, I’m really sad that I don’t get to have 24/7 with her.

I’m cherishing every moment with her and I hope that we both transition well into this new part of our lives..

She just woke up.. so I better go get her now.. I love being a mother!

It happened when she turned 2 months old, and it happened again now that she is 4 1/2 months old.

She is loud.. making her baby babble all the time now.. tonight she discovered her tongue and how moving it while making noises lets her make other sounds.  She we’ve been hearing a lot of “laa” and “blaaa” tonight.

And she’s squirmy.. waaaay squirmy!  She turns over and arches her back and kicks her legs all over the place.  It’s very scary to leave her anywhere above the floor.  There have been several instances where my heart skips a beat because she came so close to falling off the couch or bed.

She loves to jump up and down, we had to finally give in and buy her a walker.  She loves it because she can stand up and jump around without us stopping her because our arms are tired.

I’ve also noticed that she’s starting to be very determined.  When she sees something that she wants, she seems very determined to get it.  She grunts and whines until it’s given to her.

It’s insane how much it she’s starting to have a mind of her own. She knows what she wants, she just doesn’t have all the skills to make it happen yet.  Everyday I’m just more and more amazed with her.

How did you cope with your baby changing so quickly?

It was the cutest thing.  She was squirming around trying to find her “comfy” spot in the bed and once her hand found my face, she relaxed and went off to dreamland.

It was so sweet and reminded me that I am truly a mother.  There is a person in this world that finds absolute comfort in my presence.  There is a person in this world really loves me and looks at me with eyes full of love and happiness.

Last night was really cute and I’m so glad that I get these special moments with my Little M.

She’s getting better at taking it, but she’s also getting messier too.

Everyday, it’s a battle to get her to eat.  It’s either she doesn’t want to be confined to her highchair, or she’d rather suck her thumb, or she wants to hold the spoon herself, or all of the above.  Some days are easier than others.  It’s literally a food fight, in a cute “baby” way.

After every meal, we end up with rice cereal literally all over her face, on her hands, and all over my hands.. it’s not pretty.

Sometimes we have to put one of her singing toys in front of her so she can pay attention.  Other times, I have to be the one to sing the songs that her little singing toys sing so she can pay attention.  Either way, singing is almost always definitely involved in her “eating” process.

But.. I have to say.. watching her eat her rice cereal is pretty cute, when she wants to eat.  She opens her mouth wide and then she “chews” on her cereal before she swallows it.  It’s like she’s a little person.  It’s too much for me to handle.

Did you have any activities to get your little one to eat (and pay attention)?

It was the most nerve-wrecking thing I’ve done in the longest time.  I was so nervous for her.

I knew getting her ears pierced was going to be a quick procedure and that she would only cry for a little bit, but the thought of her getting holes in her little ears made me nervous.

She actually did great.  She cried, but the lady was so quick that Little M only cried a little bit and once I held her comfortingly (is that a word?) she stopped crying pretty instantly.  Now she looks like a little lady and I think she is absolutely adorable with little earrings.

I decided to do her ears early so that she didn’t have to make that conscious decision to do it and she didn’t have to feel the anxiety of knowing what piercing is. If I get it done now, she won’t remember, but she will at least have the piercings so she can wear cute earrings when she’s older.

Now I have a 12 week routine of cleaning her piercing 3 times a day.  She’s pretty good about letting me clean it for her.  She doesn’t squirm and she sits pretty still.

So much as changed in this 4th month of her life.   She started rice cereal AND she got her ears pierced.  She’s such a little lady now!

Little M turned 4 months old on January 3rd.  She had her well-baby check up yesterday and her peditrician told me that she is no longer to be considered a “premie.”  She’s in the 75th percentile in size and weight, and if they were to make adjustments for her early birth, then she would be off the charts.

It’s always good to hear that your child is thriving and healthy.  I love knowing that she isn’t a premie.. her pediatrician never really considered her a premie in size and weight since she was born, so that’s good.

Little M’s has grown in so many ways, she is a completely different baby from the one I gave birth to in September.

Right before the year ended, she mastered the art of rolling over (back to tummy).  She had done it a few times when she was 2 months old on my parents couch, but that was because the couch really helped with the momentum of her turn.  Now, she’s able to flip back to tummy with ease going towards her left side.  She’s constantly working on turning on her right side now, and I think she’ll master that in no time.  She’s also gone from tummy to back a few times.  It’s not perfected, but I know it will be soon enough.

I literally can’t leave her anywhere except the playpen now.

She’s also learned how to change the tone of her voice from high to low and everything in between.  She loves to make her voice go high and will do it all the time, especially to show frustration.  It’s funny how I see myself a lot in that aspect.  She’s also developing her little language and has started saying “wa wa wa” and slowly we can here those “wa” sounds turn into slightly softer “da” sounds.. Hubby likes hearing those a lot!

She’s finally learned how to laugh now too!  My brother had started it when we were all at my parents house for Christmas.  Now she chuckles with the cutest little laugh.  The only thing is that she gets the hiccups every time she laughs.  It’s pretty funny.

Today, she started rice cereal.  Yes.  She’s on her first steps toward solid foods.  My little baby is growing up!

She took it well.  She had a few bites of really runny rice cereal.  She knew to open her mouth, but she didn’t quite know what to do with what I put in there.  Some of it she spit out while making raspberry sounds, but most of it she ate.  She would even grab the spoon from me.

It’s been a fast four months and it is unbelievable how much babies can grow and develop in such a short amount of time.  Every week, it’s always something new and if you blink you’ll miss it.

2011 has definitely been life-changing.  I was pretty much pregnant for a majority of the year and that was an adventure in itself.  There were so many ups and downs dealing with pregnancy, but I loved every second of it. 

In September, I became a mother.  Giving birth was the biggest accomplishment of my life. 

I’ve spent the rest of this year on maternity leave and learning the ropes of motherhood.  It’s been the most tiring, yet most rewarding job in my life.  Little M has changed so much from when she was first born, it’s been a whirlwind.

I never thought I’d ever live a year like this.  It’s definitely been a year full of blessings and I’m thankful for every day of 2011.  It’s a year that I will never forget. 

Next year is going to be a new year of adventures and blessings.  I’ll be going back to work at the end of January, and that’s going to open up a new world of challenges as I learn to balance working and mothering..

2011, you’ve been nothing but great.

2012, I can’t wait for what you have in store for us.  I pray you give us the same joys that 2011 gave.  You’ve got some shoes to fill.. 2011 has definitely raised the bar!

We spent Christmas Eve with my inlaws, drove right up and spent Christmas Day with my family.

Little M had the best of both sets of Grandparents and opened a lot of presents.  It was cute watching her touch all the wrapping paper of each gift and her “opening” her own presents.  She seemed into the whole process of it all.  We’d put her hands together to get a grip on the wrapping paper and I’d pull the gift away.  It made it seem like she was tearing those presents open and she enjoyed the sound of the paper tearing.

She’s enjoying some of her presents now and playing with some of the toys she received.  She also received a lot of clothes which is great because that’s less that I have to buy.

Hubby and I didn’t exchange gifts.  We didn’t last year either.  I don’t think it’s weird.  I just don’t know what to ask for from him because if I usually want something, I just buy it myself.  And with him, he’s just not the “gift-asking” type.  So we didnt’ get each other anything.

I just put a ribbon on Little M and handed it to him.. that will be his gift for every occasion for the past 18 years.

Little M catching it sucks.

She’s coughing and she’s got a runny/stuffy nose.  Yesterday was pretty bad.  You can tell she wasn’t feeling all that great because all she wanted to do was sleep.  She napped a lot yesterday.  Thank God she didn’t have a fever.  When she was awake, her demeanor was normal.  She was her same smiley, playful self.

Today, she seems a little better.  She coughed up a lot this morning, and her nose was running like a faucet this morning.  But now she’s playing on her play mat without whining to get picked up.

The nights are pretty bad.  We’ve been sleeping on the recliner for the past few nights.  She just doesn’t want to lie down, nor does she want the recliner tilted back at all.  We slept up straight, and it’s soo not comfortable to me.  Even with a nice, cozy LazEBoy recliner, it’s just not comfy to sleep upright.

I’m hoping that we start getting over our colds soon.  Christmas is a few days away and I want us to be able to enjoy Little M’s first Chrismtas.. sniffle-free.

I made the decision to stop nursing a few days ago.  For the past month, I had only been nursing her at night, and this past week, it just didn’t seem like it was enough for her anymore.  So, I had to make the executive decision to stop nursing her at 3months and 1week of age.

It’s bittersweet.  I’m glad that now I can go back to eating everything I loved to eat, and also diet the way I should to get back to my pre-prego weight.  But, I LOVED nursing.

I loved watching her nurse on me.  Nothing perverted.  I loved watching her nurse in a mother-child bonding way.  It was like our last sort of physical connection outside of her being in my womb.

But I’m not too worried.  I’m glad I cut my losses and stopped nursing her because she clearly wasn’t getting enough from me and I don’t want to think I’m starving her for the sake of wanting to nurse her for 6months.

I’m going to miss the ease of nursing, especially during the night feedings.  All I had to do was sit up and bam!  Feeding time!

But now that she bottle feeds at night, we get good 4-5 hour stretches of sleep.. ahh.. sleep.

So, goodbye nursing.  I hope Little M got all that she needed from me.

At what age did you stop nursing your little one?